manual

difficulties in life is due to trial/error due to no manual or tools, like fixing own cars takes much longer than taking it to mechanics

three type of poetic language: narrative (the story), lyrical (states, incidents, moments, 1st person), drama (verse, voiced of others characters.

we run these three types in our mind, there is the self (lyrical), others (drama), and narrative (the story)

Loneliness
 oh, lonely I feel, yet not alone
like  a child lost in a market
surrounded by crowd, yet
being crowdblinded like a shield covering my sight
it's seems dark

A handful of nicotine and caffeine sooth me alright
standing and not daring to move
the time passes carrying pieces of the lost memory
hoping to bring me the lost one that I look for.

What, me, you don't like me?
what? you don't like my look or something tells you there is more
it's ok I tell myself
I don't like me either sometimes
and that something tells me things too
but you don't have to live with me, I do
you know, I don't like mean people so I don't live with them
you don't have to like me or live with me
but I must like me and live with me
So be it, like yourself and live with yourself
but please let me like you...

Love story
He keeps falling for them
and they keep letting him down
the story of my life
is it a curse?

having what he doesn't like
but he can't have what he likes
is grass greener on the other side of the fence?
or is he simply lucky in life not in love

Is it me?
this is the dagger that I hesitate to push down
the mistery, curiously inviting yet terrifying
the ugly duck, the shy guy
aaaah, nobody wants to be that...
let's leave it for another day...

Who am I
More unknown than the edge of the universe
The unsolved mistery
They say I am swirling atoms that can think
Think? how can the atoms think?
what is this Think?
imagination they say
what kinds of atom has imagination?

they say to stop this curiousity
"a knife doesn't cut itself"
So, I can't know about myself
No, you can't know yourself
like "teeth can't bite itself"
but, you can know about yourself
like you can know about a flower
what;s the difference?
you can know flower and you can know about flower
you can know about yourself but you can't know yourself
like, you can know about Jesus but you may not know Jesus
Like you can know about other cities, countries, but doesn't mean you know
sadly my friend, all you know about yourself is about yourself not yourself
Look at the mirror and what do you see?
myself.
No, you see a reflection about yourself depending on the light condition and the quality of the mirror, but you don't see yourself
But I can know others? you can know others and you can know about others.
What's a difference? You can recognize what you know about but not what you know.
So, how do i know I don't know myself? because your eyes can't see itself.