needs pyramid

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” – Albert Schweitzer


We usually measure success from material possessions and a person's job. But according to Abraham Maslow, a human being is looking for more than just financial success. In fact, financial success is only the first and most basic needs we have. Maslow defines Needs as "Whatever that motivates human's behavior" or "whatever that we seek." They are "Goals" in life. According to Maslow, there are 5 needs that we seek:

1. Physical Needs - Physical needs are whatever that we need to live, such as air, water, food, clothes, and shelter. This is where Money play a big role because nothing is free. In fact, this is the only need that can be purchased with money (even though some people try to sell and buy other needs with money). Human being is the only creature that does not depend on natural resources. In fact, air is the only natural and free basic need that we have. Not for long though, because like everything else, air will be "processed" and "privatized" and will be sold. In other words, other than air, all of our basic needs are "processed", we eat processed food, we drink "processed" water, we live in a "processed" house in a "man made design" city. We even use "man made" source of power, electricity. Anything that is processed has a price.

2. Safety Needs - There are two kinds of safety needs - Physical safety and non-physical or psychological safety needs. Physical safety need is freedom from physical oppression, physical abuse, physical bullying, or any other acts of physical violence. Psychological safety need is freedom from oppression, abuse and neglect, or threat. We all have experienced physical or psychological "war" at home, in school, or in society. This need and the next need, social needs, are social needs but with two opposite goals. If this safety needs are social needs for freedom from "war", the Social Needs are social needs for "peace".

3. Social Needs - We all want to be accepted and loved. We all want to be "friends" with and for others; family members, friends, or strangers. It was researched in Europe that babies who did not get human touch died sooner than babies who received human touch. One of the deadliest punishment is the "Silent Treatment" or "excommunication." In prison, an inmate is "punished" by going to its prison, "Solitary Confinement". This is an effective punishment because of the importance of this need. Tom Hanks in "Cast Away" talked to a ball, Wilson.

Maslow called this three needs Basic Needs because a person may die or suffer physical or psychological deficiency if the needs are not met. Like physical disorders that a person can suffer for lacking these needs, he also suffer mental health disorders for lacking these needs. Lack of physical needs creates the deepest structural damage/disorders, such as lack of attachment or deep denial or arrested development. Lack of safety needs usually creates all kinds of emotional problems. Lack of social needs usually creates some kind of personality problems. In treatment, personality problems are very difficult to treat or deal with, but this problem is the least evil of the three.

4. Esteem Needs - If the three basic needs are individual needs, Esteem Needs are group needs. When we meet the three basic needs, we meet our individual needs. When we master the Esteem needs, we can "control" the group or society. The clearest example is driving. When we learn to drive, there are two levels we are trying to master. First, we learn to try to control our car. Even, after we can control the car (knowing how to stop and go, how to turn, or how to park) it doesn't mean we can drive. The next step is learning to control the road. We know that we can drive a car when we feel in control not only the car but also the traffic. We get our esteem needs from our accomplishment, Academic, Career, or services to others. It is like our "Recognition" by our society. However, a person do not have to be a "doctor" or "CEO" or "graduate from Harvard" or to be a Saint to meet this esteem needs. Many people have fake esteem needs (we ll talk about it later).

5. Self Actualizing Needs - If we are still using the Driving analogy, we eventually become competent in driving and we don't realize that we are driving. This is the Self Actualizing. It is "Mastering/competent" in living. Competence has more freedom and flexibility than incompetence. An incompetent musician can play a song only one way but a competent musician can do whatever he wants with the song. This is the top of the pyramid. Maslow said that we all want to get to the top. This is happiness, not pleasure, but happiness. This is freedom. A self actualizer is free does not mean he avoid problems, but he is free in spite of all problems that he has.

A wise person said that "there is a difference between a mystic and a psychotic" A mystic is a true self actualizer and a psychotic is a fake self actualizer. There are many fakers out there. Like mentioned above, even though physical needs are the only needs that can be bought and sold, other needs, that are supposed to be FREE, are being bought and sold.

A true self actualizer climbs through the pyramid and meet each needs before reaching the top. A faker fakes or pretend to be a Self Actualizer or Esteem-er to cover up their "hole" at the bottom of the pyramid. Sometimes, the word "emptiness" is used to talk about the "hole", such as "he use drugs to fill up the emptiness he feels."

People who pretend use this "Esteem" or "Self Actualization" as a mask. People who fake "esteem" is usually found in the higher management level on a company or higher government official. People who fake "Self Actualization" is usually found as leaders of Religions or spiritual movement. They look nice, holy, friendly, charismatic, and charming on the outside, but they are "evil-ish" on the inside.

This is one way of using the pyramid. There is another way of using the pyramid to look at toxic and healthy relationship.