cheating in relationship

Now, we are going to talk about cheating in specific population.

The "Cheating" to oneself have been discussed in the articles Shadow, Johari Window, etc. Awareness of this "Cheating" is an invitation to "Spiritual Journey". Sometimes, it's called "Looking for Self". People who realize their own suffering sometimes go to "Spiritual Retreat", "Counseling" or "Self Development Workshops" with one thought "There is more than meet the eyes".

We all have secrets that we keep from others. Our relationship with others have several levels: Strangers, acquaintance, friendship, and intimate. It is appropriate to keep personal information when talking with strangers. With acquaintance, we share some general personal information. With friendship, we are expected to share deeper personal information. Hopefully, we can share our deepest personal information in intimate relationship. It is considered "awkward" to violate these boundaries. Such as, talking about deep personal information with strangers or inability to talk about deep personal information with intimate partners. This inability to talk about deep personal information with intimate partners is a form of "Cheating".

In intimate relationship, this "Cheating" in relationship usually occur in unhealthy relationships, Independent, Dependent, and Co-dependent relationships. There are two causes of this "Cheating" in relationship: A person's past traumatic experience in intimate relationship and lack of trust in the relationship.

There is no trust in the Independent relationship, and thus, there is no relationship. In dysfunctional Dependent and Co-dependent relationships, the partners' mood fluctuate so much to establish any kind of trust. For example, in "Dominance Submissive" relationship, the Dominant is not happy when his dominance is being questioned and the Submissive is not happy because he is not free.

In Dependent and Co-dependent relationships, there is an immature person (s) in the relationship who still is not yet independent. To cover up the immaturities, a person will pretend or use a mask to cover the dependence. Please differentiate between Love and Symbols of Love. A husband came to counseling and said that he doesn't understand why his wife is angry at him. He said that he kiss her everyday, he buys her flower, tells her "I love you" everyday. He confuses the difference between loving and giving symbol of love to his wife. Even an abusive husband always buy flowers and apologize after beating his wife.