Sunday, September 30, 2012

Management

There are two kinds of management: Dictatorship or democratic. In dictatorship,  management is regulated by authority and power/force. The communication is one way. Law/rules are only for the members not the managers. A government controlled by one person, or a small group of people. In this form of government the power rests entirely on the person or group of people, and can be obtained by force or by inheritance. The dictator(s) may also take away much of its peoples' freedom.
 In contemporary usage, dictatorship refers to an autocratic form of absolute rule by leadership unrestricted by law, constitutions, or other social and political factors within the state.

For some scholars, a dictatorship is a form of government that has the power to govern without consent of those being governed (similar to authoritarianism), while totalitarianism describes a state that regulates nearly every aspect of public and private behavior of the people. In other words, dictatorship concerns the source of the governing power and totalitarianism concerns the scope of the governing power.

dictators driven by anger, power, greed, pride, and/or paranoia

despotism, a form of government in which a single entity rules with absolute power. That entity may be an individual, as in an autocracy, or it may be a group,[4] as in an oligarchy. Despotism can mean tyranny (dominance through threat of punishment and violence), or absolutism; or dictatorship (a form of government in which the ruler is an absolute dictator, not restricted by a constitution, laws or opposition, etc.).[5] Dictatorship may take the form of authoritarianism or totalitarianism.
Dictatorship is often defined simply as "not democracy", where democracy is defined as a form of government where those who govern are selected through contested elections. Authoritarian dictatorships are those where there is little political mobilization and "a small group exercises power within formally ill-defined limits but actually quite predictable ones".[6] Totalitarian dictatorships involve a "single party led by a single powerful individual with a powerful secret police and a highly developed ideology." Here, the government has "total control of mass communications and social and economic organizations".[7] Hannah Arendt labelled totalitarianism a new and extreme form of dictatorship involving "atomized, isolated individuals" in which ideology plays a leading role in defining how the entire society should be organised.[8] Juan Linz argues that the distinction between an authoritarian regime and a totalitarian one is that while an authoritarian one seeks to suffocate politics and political mobilization (depoliticization), a totalitarian one seeks to control politics and political mobilization.[9]
Dictatorships may be classified in a number of ways, such as
  • Military dictatorship
    • "arbitrator" and "ruler" types may be distinguished; arbitrator regimes are professional, civilian-oriented, willing to give up power once problems have been resolved, and support the existing social order; "ruler" types view civilians as incompetent and have no intention of returning power to them, are politically organised, and have a coherent ideology[10]
  • Single-party state
    • "weak" and "strong" versions may be distinguished; in weak single-party states, "at least one other actor eclipses the role of the party (like a single individual, the military, or the president)."[11]
  • Personalist
  • Hybrid
Dictators may attain power in a number of ways.
What is dangerous is the subtle dictatorship, DICTATORSHIP WEAR A MASK OF DEMOCRACY.

Emotions and mind

Emotions and mind are twin siblings that make up for each other. Mind is the older sibling that is supposed to help regulate the emotion. However, when the mind is handicapped or immature, the emotion will run free. Disordered appetite is a sign of immaturity. When a child is individualizing, he is trying to regulate his disordered appetite. In animals, emotion has direct link to behavior. In human, emotion/mental creates human behavior/organized/coordinated behaviors. Social regulation regulates human behaviors.

Human also has the ability to develop not only his individual self but his group self, to benefit from cooperation with others. Development of his group self is part of his individuation process. The ability to regulate his environment as part of his individual self. This is the second stage of individuation/development process. In the process, we are developing INDIVIDUAL BEHAVIOR, THOUGHT, AND FEELING as particular group members. This is called CULTURAL identity. A consequence of developing cultural identity is to sacrifice individual identity. So, a child will sacrifice/neglect/deny his individual thoughts, feeling, and behavior for cultural/social thoughts, feeling, and behavior.

We are bundle of emotions or we are bundle of senses. Our emotion/ internal senses are our ID, our bodily self. Our external senses are our social source. Our mind function to negotiate between social and biological self, our superego and ID. Our ID, ego, and superego is like our body, mind, and social self. Our ID, ego, and superego is our artificial bio/emotion/social. However due to its superficiality, our mind is distorted and OVER imagination and permanence that lead to emotional overreaction. Our mind also functions to assume or hypotheses and predict to simulate or rehearse real environment.

We have LIFE INSTINCT before environment. This life instinct fear death instinct. Environment is only a factor to meet our needs, physical, safety, and social. Before we were born, we live in perfect connected environment, before we get CUT OFF. We then begin process of individuation to go back to perfect environment. We begin with PERFECT DEPENDENT environment to be PERFECT INDEPENDENT environment.

Crisis and trauma are parts of the process of individuation trying to develop individual and cultural self. Learning skills are individuation process to competence or PERFECT INDEPENDENT.

Our mind is internalization of our environment from INTERPSYCHOLOGICAL to INTRAPSYCHOLOGICAL. Interpsychological is called PERCEPTION. Intrapsychological is called mind/consciousness. Higher function/mind originate from actual environmental interaction.

Needs Deficiencies

There is physical and psychological effects from physical and safety need deficiencies. The physical effects is mostly shortlived or resulted in physical trauma or death. However, the psychological deficiencies can last long and retraumatizing throughout life.
1. Physical needs
The psychological effects of physical needs deficiency has a lot to do with accumulation of stress of lacking food and shelter. Animals experienced stress that motivate behaviors to meet these needs. However, a human being lives in more civilized and competitive society, the stressors are more complex. Another effects is the social/group image/label that a person carry that create victim's mentality. The effects arrest in infancy the development of ego structure/individuation.

2. Safety needs
The psychological effects of safety needs deficiency is still under-appreciated. People think of coerciveness only in terms of physical but still ignore psychological torture, bully, or even threat. "Sticks and stones can hurt my bone." Physical coerciveness has damaging psychological effects, such as anger and rebellion. There are two main effects of safety deficiency; bertrayal and trauma/shock. Bertrayal is the effects caused by slower gradual psychological manipulation. Trauma/shock is the effects caused by sudden physical/psychological force. A person can experience both. In a financially challenged family, problems are caused mostly by physical needs but also by safety needs deficiency. In a financially stabled family, most problems are caused by this safety needs. Force, manipulation, intimidation, threat, acts of violance, rage, resentment are all ways that threaten this safety needs. This effects arrest the development of ego structure/individuation. Abuse of any kinds is this needs deficiency.

3. Social needs
The psychological effects of social needs deficiency arrests the development of personality and create personality malfunction. Social anxiety lead to social inhibition. Lack of humor and playfulness requires a person to fight and compete socially. This needs of deficiency is neglect.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

 A MAN FIND GOLD ON HIS FIELD, BUT NOT KNOWING, HE JUST IGNORE IT.
ANOTHER MAN BOUGHT THE FIELD AND FOUND THE GOLD. RECOGNIZING THE GOLD, HE DUG IT UP AND BECOME WEALTHY.

ANXIETY BASED LEARNING = AGGRESSIVENESS.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

adult victims

Another name for adult victims is adult co dependence. They are victims who has become an adults. There are two kinds of victims, current and ex-victims. We all have experienced being a victim, either current or being an ex. An ex-victim who denies his victimness still act like a victim and victimize others as payback. This is a destructive cycle of an ex-victim victimizing a current victim who eventually will become an ex-victim who victimize another victim, etc.

Borderline doesn't recognize border between self and others and become selfothers. Traumatic experience attach this self and other together. Growing up, we attach our self to others and develop personality as defense mechanism. However, individuation process separate this self from others and personality weakens. However, trauma can block individuation and selfothers remain and personality strengthened.

This selfothers is one way street codependency and create selfothers in other.

There is no cure for these disorders other than personal transformation. This is life experience and create a person in his own way. However, we can stop being victimized in this cycle by recognizing our own victims.

An ex victim who denies his victimness act like his victimizer and victimize others.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

DYSFUNCTIONAL

There is a difference between leadership and dependence
leadership occurs naturally from one own ability
where dependence create "boss" to control
dependence only act like a leader to control others
it's leadership chosen by itself
this boss actually doesn't know anything and manipulate others to follow his orders
they have false entitlement and it's a fascade
they rely on symbolic expression of love rather than the love itself
their whole life is symbolic
they threaten to take away cooperation if not complied
who they really are is pre-symbolic
pre symbolically, they have low empathy or sympathy for others but expect others to sympathize and empathic toward them
they have ego mania that crave attention and adulation
they latch themselves to others to meet their needs
they are helpless and underdeveloped and is afraid to grow up
they are needy like infants
they want others to meet their needs, but they don't want to meet others' needs
they want to control others' needs, but don't want to be controlled by others

false entitlement = rasa kepemilikan yang berlebihan


Friday, September 21, 2012

-saturday -22-9-2012

Deprivation or deficiency suck resources/energies from other sources.
Recovering mode/rescue mode, problem solving mode
When applied to present problem, distortion
using distortion as defense mechanism
Overdevelopment/oversensitive - underdeveloped/unaware/raw/emotional
Codependent - meeting other deficiency and expect other to meet my deficiency
Survival mode
Pretend to be Normal (problem, deficiency)
Cognitive distortion, Feeling distortion
Adversarial
Unmet safety needs
Deficiency -- anger
Feeling is not reliable (feeling type)
Wound - kekurangan
Physical
Theory breakdown at depth (philosophy and spirituality)
Dominant feeling
if gut is dominant, Feeling and Thinking is underdeveloped

Feeling as reaction to deficiency

Center has Asset and Liabilities

Instinct (Anger) - Structure/order, Object boundary
Feeling (shame) - Relationship (Social)
Thinking (anxiety) - knowledge/truth

Morally smart, relationship smart, skills smart, art smart, book smart, organizationally smart, street smart, leadership smart,

Wire of energy to core get shorted, cut off energy and transffered to Centers creating personality world.
In crisis, energy released go through centers and suck other energy.

Cut off energy in essence, enable one part dysfunctionally and disable energy to other parts.

Recovery, incompetent, unmet needs, death instincts

losing parents lead to looking for parents

Personality (Feeling, self consciousness, answer, verbal/image, sensation)

Body (emotion, automatic, reaction, impression)

Instead of looking at deficiency or deprivation from normal, look at the nature of each condition.
Emotion is pre symbolic and lizard brain.

emotional intelligence is misleading, because emotion is automatic and unconscious. Attitude intelligence is how we manage information in brain, include how we manage feeling, behavior, and thoughts.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

ego

self and personality is like coffee and sweetened milk. we use milk to sweeten the coffee. we don't taste the coffee if we put too much. for personality, life is too bitter. personality acts in and out to defend and inflate itself from personality wound, the passion and fixation. personality is an armor to protect the essence is made out of essence. personality creates its own wounds to protect itself, to energize itself due from being cut off from the essence. to drink a bitter coffee to taste the sweet.

unhealthy has all unhealthy energy and healthy has all healthy energy. unhealthy perfectionistic, selfish, narcissistic, delusional, psychopathic, codependent, impulsive, dictator, and avoidant. healthy ordered, loving, productive, unique, knowledgable, loyal, leader, and peacemaker.

personality is obliged and

Inner Light Foundation

Inner Light Foundation

awareness

path of transformation

wisdom

development

self discovery

integrating person

realization

mindfulness

wakefulness

Inner Eye Foundation

PSYCHO-SPIRITUAL

THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF - ROOSEVELT

Why, you may take the most gallant sailor, the most intrepid airman or the most audacious soldier, put them at a table together - what do you get? The sum of their fears" CHURCHILL
LESS CONSCIOUSNESS, MORE SELF CONSCIOUSNESS

Friday, September 14, 2012

personality in crisis

In moment of incompetence or crisis, it is not emotion that takes over, the personality takes over, because personality is our defense mechanism. This is the difference between a person with healthy and unhealthy personality.

WE DO NOT AND CANNOT DO ANYTHING TO BE OURSELVES. IF WE DO, IT'S NOT OURSELVES.

Essence and Personality

We are essence and not our personality. Personality is who we are expected to conform to or social expectation, the role we must play. We get caught between fear of being ourselves and anger of having to be someone we are not. This trap creates frustration and resentment of having to do something we don't want to do or be someone we don't want to be. It is like we are being imprisoned where we gets punished for not complying. Personality buys acceptance and praise but it also has a price, our freedom. We get trapped by our automatic past conditioning and is controlled by others' acceptance.

Since the superficial self represents submission and conformity, the inner or true self is rebellious and angry. This underlying rebellion and anger can never be fully suppressed since it is an expression of the life force in that person. But because of the denial, it cannot be expressed directly. Instead it shows up in the narcissist's acting out. And it can become a perverse force.[28]

a kind of mask, designed on the one hand to make a definite impression upon others, and on the other to conceal the true nature of the individual".[1]

For the growing child, the development of a viable social persona is a vital part of adapting to, and preparing for, adult life in the external social world. '

A strong ego relates to the outside world through a flexible persona;

 identification with a specific persona (doctor, scholar, artist, etc.) inhibits psychological development'.[2]

Thus for Jung 'the danger is that [people] become identical with their personas - the professor with his textbook, the tenor with his voice'.[3]

The result could be 'the shallow, brittle, conformist kind of personality which is "all persona", with its excessive concern for "what people think"'[4] - an unreflecting state of mind 'in which people are utterly unconscious of any distinction between themselves and the world in which they live.

They have little or no concept of themselves as beings distinct from what society expects of them'.[5]

The Enantiodromia - the emergence of the repressed individuality from beneath the persona later in life: 'the individual will either be completely smothered under an empty persona or an enantiodromia into the buried opposites will occur'.[6]

 'that excessive commitment to collective ideals masking deeper individuality -

'laboriously tries to patch up his social reputation within the confines of a much more limited personality...pretending that he is as he was before the crucial experience'.[11]

 

Thus one goal for individuation is for people to 'develop a more realistic, flexible persona that helps them navigate in society but does not collide with nor hide their true self'.[19]

Eventually, 'in the best case, the persona is appropriate and tasteful, a true reflection of our inner individuality and our outward sense of self'.[20]


'a mask or shield which the person places between himself and the people around him, called by some psychiatrists the persona '.[21]

to avoid unwanted entanglements or promote wanted ones'.[22]

the social archetype of the conformity archetype',[25]


__________________________________________________________________________________


The "False Self" was to protect the True Self by hiding it. allowed a person to present a "polite and mannered attitude" in public.[3]
"as if" personalities who have 'succeeded in substituting "pseudo contacts" of manifold kinds for a real feeling of contact with other people: they behave "as if" they have feeling contacts with people'.[5]

 the concept of the masquerade - of 'the mask of the narcissist..."the trait of deceptiveness, the mask, which conceals this subtle reservation of all control under intellectual rationalizations, or under feigned compliance and superficial politeness"'.[6]

 'the Ego, which does bear some comparison with the False Self'.

original self and pseudo self[9], the latter being a way to escape the loneliness of freedom, at the cost of losing the original self.

 'the deepest form of despair is to choose "to be another than himself". On the other hand "to will to be that self which one truly is, is indeed the opposite of despair," and this choice is the deepest responsibility of man'.[10]

'Other people's expectations can become of overriding importance, overlaying or contradicting the original sense of self, the one connected to the very roots of one's being'.[11]
The danger is that 'through this False Self, the infant builds up a false set of relationships, and by means of introjections even attains a show of being real'.[13]

a 'child whose potential aliveness and creativity has gone unnoticed...concealing an empty, barren internal world behind a mask of independence'.[14]

'Winnicottian False Self is the ultimate defence against the unthinkable "exploitation of the True Self, which would result in its annihilation"'.[15]

Compliance and imitation are the costly results'.[18] Some would indeed consider that 'the idea of compliance is central to Winnicott's theory of the false self',[19] and add, paradoxically, that 'concern for an object is easily a compliant act'.[20]

Where the motherer is not responsive to the baby's spontaneity, where instead 'a mother's expectations are too insistent, they can eventually result in compliant behaviour and an impaired autonomy',[21] as the baby has 'to manage a prematurely important object....The False Self enacts a kind of dissociated regard or recognition of the object; the object is taken seriously, is shown concern, but not by a person'.[22]


these patients develop a shoddy armor (of a "defensive" or "compensatory" character) around their maimed inner core'.[25]

to be...the maintenance of even the diseased remnants of the self is preferable to not being, that is, to accept the takeover of another's personality rather than his actively elicited responsiveness'.

he stressed that 'there is a decisive difference between the support of selfobjects that are sought after and chosen by a self in harmony with its innermost ideals...and the abandoning of oneself to a foreign self, through which one gains borrowed cohesion at the price of genuine initiative and creative participation in life'.[27]

the false self, which the very young child constructs to please the mother, and the true self.

'two poles: one in which I am the source of my own action, where I have a creative capacity that comes from my own source of action, and the other in which an inner figure opposed to myself is the source of action.[31]

He termed the twin 'sources of action the "autonomous source" and the "discordant source"', and acknowledged that 'although the formulation is different, it is along the lines of what Winnicott talks about - the true self and the false self'.[32]

'the False Self is by far more important to the narcissist than his dilapidated, dysfunctional True Self':

 Vaknin stresses instead that 'the False Self replaces the narcissist's True Self and is intended to shield him from hurt and narcissistic injury by self-imputing omnipotence....

The narcissist pretends that his False Self is real and demands that others affirm this confabulation'[38] - relational success in such instances being clinched 'when self finds in other that other who will "confirm" self in the false self that is trying to make real, and vice versa'.[39]

the false self as an overdevelopment (under parental pressure) of certain aspects of the self at the expense of other aspects - of the full potential of the self - producing thereby an abiding distrust of what emerges spontaneously from the individual himself or herself.[42]

Daniel Stern considered 'the sense of physical cohesion (..."going on being", in Winnicott's term)' as essential to what he called the Core Self - providing 'an affective core to the prerepresentational self'.[49]

He also explored how selective maternal attunement could create 'two versions of reality....

Language becomes available to ratify the split and confer the privileged status of verbal representation upon the false self', so that 'the true self becomes a conglomerate of disavowed experiences of self which cannot be linguistically coded'.[50]

However 'in place of true self and false self, Stern suggests the adoption of a tri-partite vocabulary: the social self, the private self and the disavowed self'.[51]

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Masks 2

Oh, how I was wrong. When unhealthy, personality is the social mask who has essence, but when healthy, we are the essence who has personality. When unhealthy, our personality will create mask to hide our passion and fixation and instinct, collective conscious mask. When unhealthy, we are pressured by our personality to wear the mask to hide our unaccepted passion, fixation, and instinct. The masks are perfectionist, lover, performer, artist, philosopher, loyal, fun and active person, leader, and peacemaker.

'when the persona is excessively rigid or defensive...[that] the persona then develops into a pathological false self'.[48

Masks

The persona was the social face the individual presented to the world - "a kind of mask, designed on the one hand to make a definite impression upon others, and on the other to conceal the true nature of the individual".[1]

For the growing child, the development of a viable social persona is a vital part of adapting to, and preparing for, adult life in the external social world. '

A strong ego relates to the outside world through a flexible persona;

 identification with a specific persona (doctor, scholar, artist, etc.) inhibits psychological development'.[2]

Thus for Jung 'the danger is that [people] become identical with their personas - the professor with his textbook, the tenor with his voice'.[3]

The result could be 'the shallow, brittle, conformist kind of personality which is "all persona", with its excessive concern for "what people think"'[4] - an unreflecting state of mind 'in which people are utterly unconscious of any distinction between themselves and the world in which they live.

They have little or no concept of themselves as beings distinct from what society expects of them'.[5]

The Enantiodromia - the emergence of the repressed individuality from beneath the persona later in life: 'the individual will either be completely smothered under an empty persona or an enantiodromia into the buried opposites will occur'.[6]

 'that excessive commitment to collective ideals masking deeper individuality -

'laboriously tries to patch up his social reputation within the confines of a much more limited personality...pretending that he is as he was before the crucial experience'.[11]

Similarly in treatment there can be 'the persona-restoring phase, which is an effort to maintain superficiality';[12] or even a longer phase 'designed not to promote individuation but to bring about what Jung caricatured as "the negative restoration of the persona" - that is to say, a reversion to the status quo'.[13]

 Absence of the persona

 'the streaming in of the unconscious into the conscious realm, simultaneously with the dissolution of the "persona" and the reduction of the directive force of consciousness, is a state of disturbed psychic equlibrium'.[15]

Those trapped at such a stage remain 'blind to the world, hopeless dreamers...spectral Cassandras dreaded for their tactlessness, eternally misunderstood'[16]

 

 'is not only achieved by work on the inside figures but also, as conditio sine qua non, by a readaptation in outer life'[17] -

 including the recreation of a new and more viable persona.

To 'develop a stronger persona...might feel inauthentic, like learning to "play a role"...

but if one cannot perform a social role then one will suffer'.[18]

Thus one goal for individuation is for people to 'develop a more realistic, flexible persona that helps them navigate in society but does not collide with nor hide their true self'.[19]

Eventually, 'in the best case, the persona is appropriate and tasteful, a true reflection of our inner individuality and our outward sense of self'.[20]

 Later developments of the persona concept


'a mask or shield which the person places between himself and the people around him, called by some psychiatrists the persona '.[21]

to avoid unwanted entanglements or promote wanted ones'.[22]

the social archetype of the conformity archetype',[25]


__________________________________________________________________________________


The "False Self" was, for Winnicott, a defense designed to protect the True Self by hiding it. He thought that in health, a False Self was what allowed a person to present a "polite and mannered attitude" in public.[3] But he saw more serious emotional problems in patients who seemed unable to feel spontaneous, alive or real to themselves in any part of their lives, yet managed to put on a successful "show of being real". Such patients suffered inwardly from a sense of being empty, dead or "phoney".[4]


Helene Deutsch had described the "as if" personalities who have 'succeeded in substituting "pseudo contacts" of manifold kinds for a real feeling of contact with other people: they behave "as if" they have feeling contacts with people'.[5]

Winnicott's own analyst, Joan Riviere, had memorably explored the concept of the masquerade - of 'the mask of the narcissist..."the trait of deceptiveness, the mask, which conceals this subtle reservation of all control under intellectual rationalizations, or under feigned compliance and superficial politeness"'.[6]

Freud himself, with his late theory of 'the ego as constituted in its nucleus by a series of alienating identifications',[7] had produced a theory of 'the Ego, which does bear some comparison with the False Self'.

[8] Erich Fromm, in his The Fear of Freedom distinguished between original self and pseudo self[9], the latter being a way to escape the loneliness of freedom, at the cost of losing the original self.

Carl Rogers had independently highlighted Kierkegaard's much earlier claim that 'the deepest form of despair is to choose "to be another than himself". On the other hand "to will to be that self which one truly is, is indeed the opposite of despair," and this choice is the deepest responsibility of man'.[10]

[edit] Winnicott's conception

'Other people's expectations can become of overriding importance, overlaying or contradicting the original sense of self, the one connected to the very roots of one's being'.[11]

as a defense against an environment that felt unsafe or overwhelming because of a lack of reasonably attuned caregiving.

The danger is that 'through this False Self, the infant builds up a false set of relationships, and by means of introjections even attains a show of being real'.[13]

a 'child whose potential aliveness and creativity has gone unnoticed...concealing an empty, barren internal world behind a mask of independence'.[14]

'Winnicottian False Self is the ultimate defence against the unthinkable "exploitation of the True Self, which would result in its annihilation"'.[15]

Compliance and imitation are the costly results'.[18] Some would indeed consider that 'the idea of compliance is central to Winnicott's theory of the false self',[19] and add, paradoxically, that 'concern for an object is easily a compliant act'.[20]

Where the motherer is not responsive to the baby's spontaneity, where instead 'a mother's expectations are too insistent, they can eventually result in compliant behaviour and an impaired autonomy',[21] as the baby has 'to manage a prematurely important object....The False Self enacts a kind of dissociated regard or recognition of the object; the object is taken seriously, is shown concern, but not by a person'.[22]



'Kohut offers essentially the same program' as Winnicott in his descriptions of 'the narcissistic disorders in which he specializes....Like Winnicott's "false-self" patients, these patients develop a shoddy armor (of a "defensive" or "compensatory" character) around their maimed inner core'.[25]

to be...the maintenance of even the diseased remnants of the self is preferable to not being, that is, to accept the takeover of another's personality rather than his actively elicited responsiveness'.

he stressed that 'there is a decisive difference between the support of selfobjects that are sought after and chosen by a self in harmony with its innermost ideals...and the abandoning of oneself to a foreign self, through which one gains borrowed cohesion at the price of genuine initiative and creative participation in life'.[27]

[edit] Lowen


 Since the superficial self represents submission and conformity, the inner or true self is rebellious and angry. This underlying rebellion and anger can never be fully suppressed since it is an expression of the life force in that person. But because of the denial, it cannot be expressed directly. Instead it shows up in the narcissist's acting out. And it can become a perverse force.[28]

[edit] Masterson


the false self, which the very young child constructs to please the mother, and the true self.

Main article: Neville Symington
'two poles: one in which I am the source of my own action, where I have a creative capacity that comes from my own source of action, and the other in which an inner figure opposed to myself is the source of action.[31]

He termed the twin 'sources of action the "autonomous source" and the "discordant source"', and acknowledged that 'although the formulation is different, it is along the lines of what Winnicott talks about - the true self and the false self'.[32]

Sam Vaknin would be more pessimistic, arguing that 'the False Self is by far more important to the narcissist than his dilapidated, dysfunctional True Self':

 Vaknin stresses instead that 'the False Self replaces the narcissist's True Self and is intended to shield him from hurt and narcissistic injury by self-imputing omnipotence....

The narcissist pretends that his False Self is real and demands that others affirm this confabulation'[38] - relational success in such instances being clinched 'when self finds in other that other who will "confirm" self in the false self that is trying to make real, and vice versa'.[39]

[edit] Susie Orbach: false bodies

the false self as an overdevelopment (under parental pressure) of certain aspects of the self at the expense of other aspects - of the full potential of the self - producing thereby an abiding distrust of what emerges spontaneously from the individual himself or herself.[42]

[edit] Jungian persona


'when the persona is excessively rigid or defensive...[that] the persona then develops into a pathological false self'.[48]

[edit] Stern's tripartite self


Daniel Stern considered 'the sense of physical cohesion (..."going on being", in Winnicott's term)' as essential to what he called the Core Self - providing 'an affective core to the prerepresentational self'.[49]

He also explored how selective maternal attunement could create 'two versions of reality....

Language becomes available to ratify the split and confer the privileged status of verbal representation upon the false self', so that 'the true self becomes a conglomerate of disavowed experiences of self which cannot be linguistically coded'.[50]

However 'in place of true self and false self, Stern suggests the adoption of a tri-partite vocabulary: the social self, the private self and the disavowed self'.[51]

Monday, September 10, 2012

Everyday Awareness

A theory talk about structural behavior in generalization. it doesn't take into account a person's unique factors, such as a person's past life experience, current situation, and other differences, because theory abstracts those factors.

However, what is our life activity looks like specifically in between big activities, such as waking up, cleaning up, eating, working, going and coming home, relaxing, socializing, and sleeping? Robots can do all those things.

What are the small activities that fill up our life when there is no big activity scheduled? This is what life is. What we are doing at the moment. Are we talking to ourselves? Are we fantasizing? Are we living in alternate environment?

We may RESIST real environment. It is easier to step back into our alternate environment to rehearse our "actions" before performing them, like practicing them in simulation.

We all partially resist our environment. This is where our MIND takes over and creates a Hole because our Mind does not fill us up. This is the immaturity point, arrested development. This resistance can become default mode. This is the small emptiness, the suffering, denial of nature. This is the complex, our alternate "sense reacting to environment".

There are two basic reactions, acceptance and resistance, attraction or repulsion.


Mental Block or resistance

There is no bad person, there is a person who experience resistance to whatever objects he encounter
This resistance or mental blocks arrest movement and is full of emotional content
reacting to two logic orientation, right or wrong.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Awareness 10-9-2012

Externally sense the body, see it, hear it, feel it, taste it, and smell it
Waken the senses
perceive it instead of conceive it in Mind
we look like both the subject and object
a being who can see itself
but we can't see our own face
but we are not an object
we are an object only in relation to others
we can't be our own object
awareness is waking the senses, internal and external, as a subject until the self-object dissapear
that we are = our experience, not a content of our experience
we are not our feeling, but we are the feeler, thinker, sensor, actor.
this objective environment/content is not real
our feeling, thoughts, body is not servant to the mind
"sound of one hand clapping"

in touching two fingers, there is no touching and being touched
there is one sensation of touch in 2 places

internal sense will make up for lack of external sense
like mind will make up for lack of perception

Objects create attitude that create feeling
some positive attitude that create pleasure, some negative attitude that create stress/resistance

people reaction to objects is stronger than acting to verbal command
we don't ask people to laugh, because laughter is a reaction
all behaviors, feelings, attitude are reaction to perception of objects
there is nothing that is not reaction
we are our reaction to environment
don't create reaction, create the environment
like we live in a life supporting environment

What we have done and will do is not as important as what we are doing right now.

Ignorance

We are ignorant because we don't externally sense our body just like we can't tickle ourselves
our internal sense is feeling and only react to our Mind
we perceive about others or objects, present objects
we don't perceive present subjects
our mind creates a version of self, ignoring the present self
our mind creates the absent subject  and objects
however, it is subjective and one dimensional
it is abstract and progressive because we generalize from our progressive experience
yet, we confuse between progressive and simple
even in the presence of the objects, we only use the Mind's version of the objects
and the body becomes the servant to the mind and our feeling serves the mind
the mind should be the servant to the body

We don't externally sense the body, we don't see, hear, touch, smell, taste ourselves
we don't perceive this self either
however, we have the perception of the objects and the REFLECTED perception of the objects
we have collection of the REFLECTION of subject and objects
that is resulted from our REFLECTION
as we LOOK BACK from the reflection of TIME
as we LOOK BEHIND
and using this reflection we can also LOOK AHEAD
this REFLECTION is called the MIND
like a car's mirrors and the Narcissus' mirrors
we use this quality of REFLECTION when we THINK BACK or AHEAD
MEMORY and IMAGINATION is a mirror
this is what separates human and animals

There are two kinds of reflections, light reflection and object reflection
in object reflection, we see the reflection of the source, this is the reflection of the perception
with light reflection, we only see the reflection and not the source, this is the MIND

We THINK before and after an experience, THE REFLECTION OF TIME.
because thinking itself is an experience, a behavior
Using our MIRRORS of PERCEPTION (MIND), we LOOK BACK and AHEAD BEFORE WE MOVE

BEFORE AN EXPERIENCE, THAT IS WE LOOK BACK AT FOUR CORNERS OF OUR SPACE (360 DEGREES OF SPACE), this is THE REFLECTION OF SPACE.
THAT IS WHAT MIND IS FOR
BUT THE MIND IS NOT THE MASTER, THE MIND IS THE TOOL

AFTER AN EXPERIENCE, WE AGAIN LOOK BACK AND AHEAD (EVALUATE)
WE REFLECT ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE, THIS IS THE CONTENT OF MIND
PROGRESSIVE AND IS GENERALIZED/ABSTRACTED INTO PERSONAL THEORY

SO, our mind can reflect both in TIME and SPACE

We combine the external sense and internal sense and create one perception
we think we see self externally and we see others internally
we can't see others internally (read mind and feeling) and we can't see self externally (the "I")
but we ignore seeing others externally and ignore seeing self internally
body becomes servant and mind becomes master
this is the illusion of the mirror, the opposite of reality

It's like we have a copilot who prepares our flight, navigate our surrounding and back, and evaluate the flight after the flight. But, the problem is due to ignorance, we let the copilot becomes the pilot. He navigates and directs the plane by watching the surrounding and the back but not the front. He is good at preparing and evaluating.

“We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It cannot lead; it can only serve” -Albert Einstein



Thursday, September 6, 2012

Mirror neuron

Like a light, there is source and reflection
In our perception, there is source and reflection
as if there is a mirror in the brain
is called mirror neuron
There is source but we don't know the source
The source is just is
Our perception is the reflection of the source

We know self from our senses, especially internal senses
we know others from our external senses
somehow, we mix them up in the mind and react to others with internal senses
and as if we can see ourselves with external senses
This is the capability of mirror neuron, who gives perception of give and receive, and gives us relationship.

External senses are the five senses and its sense-mind (Perception). The is our receiving tools.
Internal senses are the internal sense of touch (Emotion) and Mind (Thought). This is our reaction/sending tools.
We know others through our external senses and mirrored by our internal senses.
We know self through our internal senses and mirrored by external senses.

The source does not reflect light, but we can see the reflection of the source
the reflection of the source is not real.
we don't see people as the source, as is, we see only the reflection or appearance or ROLES
charming, attractive, wealth, powerful, famous, etc

emotion is goal oriented, motivational
internal senses control Mind.
external senses and perception is the environment

internal senses are looking for its needs
to fill what is empty, from the feeling of hunger to full
Mind is alternative environment and create alternative reaction, more abstract environment.
like internal senses is more abstract than external senses.
feeling is our internal sense of touch, mind is our internal senses of vision, hearing, smell, and taste.
our internal senses are mirrors of the external senses
We live in alternative environment that we create
we only return to environment in moment of crisis
like using computer to regulate big machine
our mind is a map, our feeling is sensor

EACH PERSON IS LIVING IN HIS OWN ALTERNATIVE ENVIRONMENT THAT HE CREATES
NOT IN PERCEPTION OF HIS ENVIRONMENT AS WE D LIKE TO BELIEVE

A PERSON CAN CUT OFF THE PERCEPTION AND ONLY LIVE IN MIND
A PERSON CAN CUT OFF LIVE IN MIND AND CREATE ANOTHER MIND, PSYCHOTHIC
A PERSON CAN CUT OFF LIVE IN MIND AND LIVE IN PERCEPTION, MYSTIC

WE LIVE IN OUR MIND, OUR VERSION OF OUR ENVIRONMENT
WE REACT AND BEHAVE NOT TO THE REAL WORLD BUT IN OUR OWN VERSION OF THE WORLD
WE DO LIVE IN OUR OWN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE AFTER ALL.

DON'T WALK THE TALK, BUT TALK THE WALK.
INSTEAD OF TRYING TO DO WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT OR THINK, THINK OR TALK ABOUT YOU HAVE DONE.

"TRYING TO DO WHAT I TALK ABOUT" IS THE MIND
"THINK OR TALK ABOUT WHAT I HAVE DONE" IS THE PERCEPTION

ENVIRONMENT - EXTERNAL SENSES - PERCEPTION = MIRROR = MIND - INTERNAL SENSE (EMOTION) - MIND (REHEARSAL OR SIMULATED BEHAVIOR IN ENVIRONMENT/NEW ENVIRONMENT/CONSEQUENCE) - INTERNAL SENSE - BEHAVIOR = FEEDBACK LOOP = ENVIRONMENT - ETC...


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Duality

Good and bad, success and failure, live or die is the duality, the language of basic needs and emotion
We keep the good and reject the bad
But both the good and bad are ours
There is conflict of throwing away what is ours
The bad is left behind but not forgotten
Our mind is still trying to process this unfinished business to grow it
Due to our fragile ego, we transfer the bad to an object

How do we see and how do we think?
seeing and what is seen is two different things
we can see what is seen but we can't see seeing
this is an interesting phenomena of what mind is
Mind has objects, like our vision has objects
the subject is the person who see the object
There is an illusion in our thinking

We see the writing is different than how the paper see the writing. The letter itself doesn't see itself.
The paper has a Negative film view of the letter. We write and read from the same Positive film view of the letter. We create everything from this view. We even create blueprint in our mind in this view.
 In a way, it s like digital photography. Is there more traditional process of turning what we see negatively before being turned into positive and projected to mind?
Not with objects. Because it happens digitally. How we see is how we think.
But not with self, because we have to use a mirror. this is the illusion

We see self and what we want others to see self is different. We see self in the mirror of mind but we have to create what we want others to see self.



Mirrors

We are born to succeed
It seems hard to succeed and easy to fail, because our mind has a mirror quality like we look at a subject as object.

Subjectively, we are born to succeed and we don't want to fail. But objectively, it becomes the opposite. Subject becomes object, positive becomes negative, success becomes failure. Like how the mind turn the word NO into YES. When we see something in the mirror, it becomes the opposite, left is right. We see where to go but our mind see what to avoid. Like POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE FILM. Negative film is our subjective view of objective world. We then project the negative film into our mind. Thus, our mind see what eyes see. We see the world in reverse. We relate to objects by appearance/positive film. Eyes are like camera and the mind the pictures.


What we show is what we want to be seen. What we create is what we want to be seen.



A typewriter doesn't care content of the letter. We relates in meaning or utilitarianism.


We use mirror to see selves. Our mind is a mirror to self. Even our self-others (incompetent/traumatic self). We transfer this self-others to others.


Senses are use to regulate oneself. When we regulate others, we try to regulate self-others. We relate to others through our self-others. We sometimes regulate self by regulating others.


There are 4 kinds of self-objects based on competence:
1. Unconscious incompetence objects (Objects neither here nor there, separation of self and objects)
2. Conscious incompetence objects (Self-others/self objects, objects controlling self), shadow

3. Conscious competence objects (Self others, self controlling objects), ego

4. Unconscious Competence Objects (Back to objects, separation of self and objects)


Maturity is the level of separation between self and objects. Level of attachment to objects. Emotion is reaction to level of attachment to objects.


We transfer our shadow to others to regulate our shadow.



SUFFERING IS LIKE MANUALLY TRYING NOT TO GET DROWN WHEN WE NATURALLY CAN FLOAT.



Don't worry about making right decision. Just decide and make it right. It's not the cards, it's how you play them. It's not the crayons, it's how you draw. It's not the age and price of the intrument but how you play them. An old cheap instrument in the hand of masters always sound better than a new expensive instrument in the hand of novice.



There are two states of suffering, new incompetence or past traumatic experience (old incompetence).


What we see is a reflection of what is.
This is why Jesus reverse the way we understand the rules.

we sabotage wanting to fail like we resist success
we are natural to succeed like we are natural to float.
our emotion resist failure but we misunderstand it as resisting success. Thus, we say "it is easy to fail". No it's not, try it.

we choose to live with negative emotion and fail rather than being successful.We then try to fix the negative emotion with no success. If we just listen to our negative emotions and move up.

Reflection

Like a law of physics, our mind is also has reflexive ability where the subject becomes object

and is grabbed by the subject. Like a page on a book is written to be read by a person, we have a passive view as the observer. We have the objective view. We don't know the subjective view. The subjective view is seeing a page on a book from the back of the page to the light. This is what we call Backward. If a page can see, this is what it see. "A knife doesn't cut itself, a tooth does not bite itself, an eye doesn't see itself, and mind doesn't think itself" We create artifacts objectively of how it will be viewed. We write like how it will be read. We don't create subjectively, we create an object objectively.

Thus, this is how a subject becomes an object because of our reflexive ability. In the mirror, we see an object of our body. This is the same way we see objects in our mind, by how it is seen. Thinking is like writing and reading. We are the writer and reader of our thoughts. We are the subject see and think objectively about an object and we (the subject) react to it. Conscious mind is like a screen and we are the viewer. We are the projector and we are the viewer. Now, Who are we? Any attempts to answer this question turn us into objects, because we are the questioner.

We also live in the opposite world because we see things in the mirror and don't know it.

Shadow Boxing

We react to our own shadow
shadow appear when there is light somewhere
this light is awareness, the Tree of Knowledge
creating ego and its shadow
to cover its shadow, it create persona
we don't see people, we see persona
an ideal image of who are supposed to play to be accepted
to be good or bad
we are active playing our roles and cover up our shadow
we forget the human nature and believe this Social Role
this desirable social role create undesirable shadow
this shadow is rejected and feared
the minority group being discarded
at the same time, we are fighting the undesirable, discriminating against the minority group
the unloved, the rejected, the shadow

Just like we play our role of persona, we also play the role of shadow
Our reaction to the shadow is the small Emptiness.
We are reacting to what is not accepted of us (can't be thrown away (part of us) but doesn't want it)
The shadow is our unmet needs
If we have more shadow than ego, we have larger shadow than ego
this shadow we project to others, this shadow is others
For ex, an abusive authority figure is larger than our selves
this abusive authority figure is the rejected role that we are still not able to process or conquer
this SELF-OTHERS is part of ourselves, we are still attached to objects (while still processing/learning about the objects)
When we want to learn something or defend ourselves, we grab the object first
for ex, a wild animals. We try to get control of the animals and hold it until it calm down and do us no harm
this is what we do in Conscious Incompetence
we are self conscious (using all our senses) and attach to the objects
Sometimes, this is where we left off where there is no self yet, but scattered objects with the emotion in conscious incompetence/
Still attached to ourselves, this is called Objects as Self. This is the objects that we transfer to others. We are still reaction to the objects. This is the OBJECT that we TRANSFER to others.