Childlike

Why are we not happy? When I have to be somebody I am not, when I can not do, think, feel what I want. I don't have pleasure if I have to please others but me. If I have to make others happy, worry about others' dissapointment, worry, sadness, or angers.

Growing up, we learn to please others/group as part of learning how to live.
Unfortunately, we end up sacrificing ourselves to be puppet of others.
It is absurd to sacrifice self to make others' happy
we have to sacrifice our self for their selfishness.
The biggest suffering come from being co dependent on others
I make you happy and you make me happy
it means that I control you and you control me
The less suffering comes from being dependent
Like children to parents or employee to employer
because we don't have control of our life
Less than that, it is being in independent relationship
Even though it looks healthy but we can't live without others
The least suffering comes from interdependent relationship
where each meets each own need but working together with others.

When we can do, think, and feel freely, when we can do what we enjoy, regardless what others say or thinks, that's when we are free.
No matter how stupid it looks, each person has something that they like to do.
It may not produce income or bring fame or fortune, but it is his passion
When we stop doing public relations or damage control or trying to impress others or get others to like or approve what we do, that's freedom.
Life is an art or game where we express or create ourselves through our relationship, job, or journey. There is no right or wrong, there is no good or bad, there is no better or worse. Everything is different, change, and new.
Children may look like wasting their time playing pretend games or having imaginary friends, some people like to think and ponder, some people like to listen to music or watch tv, some people like to socialize, some people like to play with computer. Stop comparing our skills to socially/culturally/employment desirable expectation, because that's the fastest way to kill our passion. When we can accept ourselves and like ourselves, we can accept and like others too.

People judge you all the time and give you advice what's good for you. But the best advice they can give is only what's best for them, we are the only one that know what s good for us. They judge you based on their standard and list in their mind about their own expectation. People will express their disapointment in you or disagreement in you, but that's not accurate. They are dissapointed not at you, they are dissapointed near you. They are dissapointed in themselves. Because, people who see the best in themselves, see the best in you. But still, the best judge about your life is yourself. In the big picture, nothing matters. We can't take anything when we die. They say that we leave names when we die, but what good does it do to have a good name when your body is lifeless under ground. So, if nothing matters, we have nothing to lose, no expectation. Treat life like playing a board game without money where the goal is the game not the results.

Events, activities are surface expression of life. There is deeper theme of life underneath our job, relationship, and life itself, such as struggle, suffering, happiness, hero, life/death, the mythical themes. THese archetypes exists consistently in our mind and we express them through our activities.

We and other people create a world in our own mind where we play a game of life in our mind, but we don't know that it is only imagination and we think that those actors we see in our mind are people that we hang around with. So, when we control our game in our mind, we are controlling other people in our life. And, of course, the real people will not act like the people in our mind, and we get dissapointed. That's what people do to us when they project their guilt, blame, dissapointment, anger, and anxiety on us and say "you make me feel this way. you dissapoint me, you make me upset, etc" DON'T BELIEVE THEM. If we understand ourselves, we can be compasionate to those people and understand that they do not know what they do. But, we can free ourselves from this social hypnosis that i have to be what they want me to be. We have mind to think and decide what's best for us. Life is big trial and error, we hurt self and others, have addiction to drugs, or other activities we do in private, that was judged unhealthy or wrong by society. However, when we are free, we can decide what is good and bad for us. Like children who try throwing tantrum as a way to get something, when she learn that it is not working or she does not need to , she will eventually stop. It is more acceptable for children to make mistakes and do trial and error, because they are learning and experimenting. But we expect adults to make no mistakes and know what to do. What a myth. Isn't adults big children that still don't know what is life itself. Aren't we still making mistakes and learn by trial and error? Aren't we still experimenting???