trigger

I like to read, to watch, to think about something, to fantasize and to talk about something
what do they have in common? they are object and content and they have meaning
they trigger sense of pleasure
they take me away from sensory direct experience

discipline and acceptance is opposite
like acceptance and not acceptance
we tend to accept the health, non problematic
and not to accept non healthy and problematic
it's a preference
discipline is to make it happen
discipline is not natural
natural discipline is natural behavior
discipline often times rigid social control

anxiety or pain, such as in xtreme activities or self harm behavior, trigger natural "painkiller"
this is why we seek anxiety and sabotage our life to manipulate our body to produce this pleasure.
it is a compulsion
we seek misery for the reward
we raise the ante from time to time
we can't sleep without the pleasure and to produce the pleasure we must feel the pain first.