Sunday, February 2, 2014

Solitude

solitude is where a person feels home
because solitude is a comfort zone
where he is in his natural animal environment
where he is competent when he is by himself
competent is comfort
for extrovert, solitude from external environment
for introvert, solitude from internal environment
extrovert has more competent interpersonal skills
introvert has more competent intrapersonal skills
healthy see things, normal sees events, unhealthy see people
personal, unprocessed, imagined

i m too self conscious to be social
focus on competent self and skills
alone self and breathing and basic skills
basic self go back home, prodigal son
be native, like native language, language learned by our nature
rather than conscious skills
we learn from the world never to be satisfied
born when walk, walk when run, run when talk, talk when go to school
WHEN is expectation
mind is naturally brainwashed to be unhappy
to think about what we don't have, we can't do

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Freedom

Not having to do anything is freedom
No expectation or destination is freedom
free of relationship pressure is freedom
Nowhere to walk to is freedom
I have arrived is freedom
this is it! This is the destination
we don't expect for something we dont have yet
we should expect what we already have
want what we have and have what we want
So called life is a background
I want to be happy, to be alone, in the mind
just by myself
leave the world behind
the body, people, the world, everything behind
just alone in the mind...

orang makan bukan karna perut yang lapar, tapi hati yang lapar.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Prayer II

How hard it is to yield to You
I have been relying on the world for too long
I stubbornly am carrying all my worries and fear and won't let go
See how little my faith is
Afraid to let go of holding on to this world
and take your Hand
Let me escape and come to your place
for rest and being with You
pull my hand O Lord
into your embrace
and don't let go
Let me be addicted to you
because you are perfect health and wealth
beyond material and biological
You are home-y
home is where the heart is
You are not in my heart, but let me be in Your heart. Amen.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

A Prayer

Prayer is communication
We communicate to build relationship
Communication is the mean not the end
When I pray, I mostly focus on the mean and it's dry like a dessert
because I don't pay attention to the relationship
Like relationship with good friends we have
we may feel good by bringing their memory to mind
by "invoking" their name alone suffice
and we want to stay with that thought because we cherish the relationship with the person
that's what we should do when we pray
Invoking the name of the beloved residents of Heaven
and we are building relationship slowly with them
In a way, we are building relationship with the prayer itself
she is a friend in need is a friend in deed
the more you need the faster and closer she will come
it's a flowing brook, a mountain view, it's God's embrace
It requires no explaination like friendship requires none
it's a relationship, the most intimate one, more intimate than any interpersonal one
where she can touch our deepest fear and secret and we are not afraid
someday, you will be like her and she will become you
Yes, we may ask favors like a child can ask favors
But, let's not make it to be the only thing we do like a child who comes to his parents only when he needs something is in a spoiled relationship
He knows our needs and we also need his help
However,  we must have the relationship for us to communicate and share the love
The strength of the relationship is determined by the trust and communication between
the stronger the relationship, the stronger the trust and communication and vice versa...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Batin

Jagalah suasana batin ada tetap menyenangkan
karna batin adalah emosi
apa pun persepsi dan psikologi yang anda alami
mereka bukanlah batin anda
kalau anda menjaga batin anda terang dan menyenangkan
anda tidak terbawa oleh persepsi dan psikologi anda
gunakan penderitaan untuk menciptakan batin yang tenang dan menyenangkan
kebosanan dan excitement memancing batin anda
kebosanan menarik turun terus mencari escape
kalau excitement adalah escapenya lalu ditarik turun
dalam meditasi atau hidup, carilah dulu batin yang tenang dan menyenangkan
sadarilah penderitaan, hidup, sakit, tua, mati, badan, pikiran, dunia, ilusi, orang, pekerjaan, relationship
gunakan ini utk propel anda menuju batin yang tenang dan menyenangkan
jagalah batin ini setiap saat, tidak ada lagi yang lebih penting dan mudah daripada melatih ini
inilah kebebasan...

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Attachment

What is falling in love but attachment
what is attachment but expectation of our desires being met
expectation of being fed, being loved, and being treated nicely
this is the thorn of the rose
when our "need" is not met

to Love is a different matter
is it pure nurtural? or is it part of the to be loved/to love cycle?
the privilage only for the free

our perception is appearance based
everything is what it looks like, sounds like, feels like, taste like, and smell like
influenced by past experience and social values
our passive karma
our senses is our active karma

Biological dimension is sensoric based
Perception is Appearance based
Neuro Psychology is attachment based

free will


I will use the difference between a person and environment and Karma to explain what I believe about this topic. I will give the short version.
A person vs Environment: Human being is the only creature that is not 100% reactive to the environment (like plants) or to the perception of their environment (like animals). Human being has developed a neuro psychological bubble that separates human from its environment. This neuro psychological bubble gives human a DELAYED reaction to environment. The question is not if this is free will. The question is how free is this free will. First, our ability to delay a reaction is affected by our biology and emotions. I think our plasticity of our "free will" depends a lot on our sense of pleasure."it is easy to be nice when you are happy" kind of thing. I like and will use @Lucia's term "Skills" in how easy this skills deteriorate as our sense of pleasure dips. Craving is a good example of this. Second, this ability to delay a reaction gives us little bit of control of our environment. The key word is little bit. We can't control weather but we can manage an emergency measure to deal with it. However, we mostly still don't control our environment. We rely highly on "Trust" in our environment, man made or nature made. I drive my car everybody thinking everybody knows how to drive and is in the good condition to drive. There are thousands of virus in the air and in our body that can defeat our immune system.

Friday, September 6, 2013

relationship and perception

cognitive disonance happen when there is a conflict between what we see and we hear
people sometimes must prove behaviorally what they say
they sometimes must prove against their reputation and their behavior
because relationship goes thru boundaries and get tested
They sometimes must convince us that they are not what we think they are
for example, public speakers could have a reputation of trying to sell something
they must convince me that they are genuine
that they are not trying to con me
my shame detector is working
their behavior may betray them or they can't play it well
it's a game of cons, who can convince the trust

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Consciousness

If I have a healthy vision and I wear a corrective glasses
I see blurred but I tell people that I can see 20/20
who can doubt me? because they can't see what I see
they don't know my vision so they don't know what I see wearing the glasses
They can't prove either way
the experience is for mine only
I can't remove it, save it, record it, or show it
it's unique and temporal, it is FRACTAL
this is qualia
it's a combination between environment (light), senses, and nervous system
producing the experience
it's one in a lifetime probability
like a probability of a dice coming up with a one
but other than 6 probability and infinite number of probabilities (the spin, the friction of table, etc)
experience is produced from infinite factors that meet randomly to produce the experience.
can;t be reproduced not even by me
it's fleeting
the interaction of body and environment
it's like seeing once in a lifetime phenomenon
it comes and goes
that nobody else can see
he can report it but he can't show it to others
he can verbalize it but he can't record it
the blurred vision experience
is his blurred vision experience

TV INTERNAL HARDWARE DOESN'T MAKE THE PROGRAM
THE PROGRAM COMES FROM OUTSIDE
WITHOUT THE PROGRAMS, IT'S BLACK AND WHITE DOTS
it has potential, such as HDTV DISPLAYS PICTURE DIFFERENTLY THAN BLACK AND WHITE
BRAIN GIVES POTENTIAL NOT CONSCIOUSNESS

SELF - The need to compensate for the sense of loss produced by the acquisition of a distinct identity

CULTURAL HUMANITY BUBBLE
Pre cultural humanity - relationship with environment
biological humanity - is the environment
physical humanity - quantum relationship

DUE TO OUT OF TOUCH WITH BODY AND ENVIRONMENT, BODY/BIOLOGY APPEARS AS SELF AND ENVIRONMENT APPEARS AS NEURO/PERCEPTION IN THE MIND

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

gre

shame based is external, guilt based is internal motivation
prison, correctional system

teleology and Teleology

Monday, August 26, 2013

Suffering

Suffering is indeed the test of nature
where a person's strength is not in the offense but on the defense
how strong he can take a hit and how he can bear the pain
how he can tame his emotion by his physical and mental stamina
everybody can offend and hit, but not many can take a hit

the development of self began long time ago with a split
prior, we have a direct relationship with environment
we are at the mercy of our environment and try to adapt to the environment
then, we learn to leave the relationship with the environment
by developing cognition
by supposing/simulating/learning/practicing our skills before meeting the real environment
our behavior becomes delayed reaction and planned
we develop the "Self Me"
the relationship with the "SM" is the self psychology
the loop between feeling and thoughts due to attachment to this Self
It is our defense mechanism for our social environment
This strategy gives PRESENT advantage over PAST problems (living in the wild)
however, we are still in transition to deal with present problems
living in civilized and safe society, we becomes bored and overemote
humanity gives us the skills to deal with the worst, not the average
we create own drama and stimulation out of boredom

Self is our overmeet needs/over adaptive skills
that enables us to leave the relationship with environment
narcissism is oversocial needs
even suffering is overexpectation for needs due to attachment
we grab the "self" as if we are grabbing the body when we are stress
we are living in imaginary world/simulation word where self represents body and mind is the environment
introvert regulate self to regulate environment
extrovert regulate environment to regulate self

we leave the relationship with nature by developing competence or skills
compare yourself driving with and without skills
where competence is the ability to regulate self and environment
the first step is regulating the car then the road.

Feeling and cognition has the opposite relationship with the senses and perception
when one is on, the other is off
the senses and perception is our relationship with nature
feeling and cognition is our overadaptive skills that leaves the relationship with nature...

Monday, August 19, 2013

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Menjaga perasaan orang

Ada orang yang menjaga perasaan sendiri dari terluka/please oneself
ada orang yang menjaga perasaan orang lain dari terluka/please others
orang yang please oneself can sacrifice others
orang yang please others can sacrifice self
to regulate self emotion by controlling others emotions
where orang yg please oneself can control others behavior to regulate self

regulating others' feeling and thinking rather than action and body
like we regulate our own feeling and thinking rather than action and body

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Positive negative attraction

In a group, positive environment will attract negatives
and negative environment will attract positives
Is this what happens in our mind?
In a positive mind environment, a person is conscious of his problems
where in negative mind environment, a person is only conscious of his ideal pretend self

Monday, August 5, 2013

The Illusion of Individuality

I favor individuality over group
I am in the rebellion stage
for this is not the end, just the mean
for individuality is an illusion
where human overdevelop to master the universe
the tower of Bable to reach God
it is not just the environment, we are talking about social environment
we are talking about intra species conflict and competition
we have been shielded from nature
this is also the problem of left over energy of emotion

"I am more important than the group" is the question.
is this one of the phases?
the oversubtance self me.

on one hand, there is a one that perceive (self me) and the perceive oned (other than me)
there is also individual and group
when we are born, it start with group (dominant culture), than individuation process
rebellion agains the culture "me preference" is more important than "the group preference"

the problem is the self me that perceives
to be free from the others than me



IF YOU HAVEN'T HAD A CONFLICT OR NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE WITH A PERSON, YOU DON'T KNOW A PERSON.

Cultural Self

Cultural self is our make up, the dress that we wear as told by our culture
the social desirable as culture dependent
behind every cultural self, the group self, hide the individual self
for nature always favor the group than individual
the individual is sacrificed, repressed, and belittled
the liberation of the individual is the freedom,
the happiness

recovery process involved releasing the self imprisoned by the culture
the individuation process and the cultural identity process work hand in hand
without attacking the culture and sacrificing the self
to live in peace for both of them
suffering is our anger and frustration of our incarceration
we want to be free but we don't know how
the process involve minimizing the culture and maximizing the individual
we are repressed behind social self with our desire to be liked
the attachment for belongingness keep others more important than what they really are
they are not important
they may not like to hear it but it's true
fear of dissapointing others, anxiety to please
to win a social trophy
I sacrifice trophy from self in order to chase trophy from others
desire for esteem by others
so codependent...

sociocultural self is the chameleon self
but, unlike chameleon who only change when self defense
we forget that about the chameleon
we suffer when we change
this extend to who we marry, what we think and what we should feel
there is a dynamic conflict between the individual and sociocultural self
we experience anger when we experience parts of individual and sociocultural
it's rebellion
this is a process of adapting to environment

Saturday, August 3, 2013

one hand clap

you know the sound of two hands clap, what is the sound of one hand clap?
there is only two hands clap when there is "on the other hand"

Monday, July 29, 2013

epigenetics



Sunday, July 28, 2013

Feelings


@Dr. Michael, Thank you for the response. No, it was not what I was saying. Emotions is unconscious and biological. The word "unconscious" just means we are not aware of it just like we are not aware of the flow of our blood. Emotional reaction is biological means there is a change in biological movement (heart rate, muscle tension, skin temperature) to something. Emotions doesn't become feelings because they are two different "things". Emotions is a biological reaction (emotional reaction) where feeling is how we "interpret and label" our experience of the reaction. They don't become conscious but it's something we can experience thru our internal senses. The subjective experience of emotions is feelings. Emotions doesn't dissapear when being awared just like heart beats doesn't dissapear when being awared. It is like with our visual experience, our eyes move all the time reacting and scanning our environment (this is emotion), but we focus on selective visual experience that we call "seeing" (this is feeling).

Emotion reacts to stimuli, including audio stimuli such as music. We usually say "music affects our emotion". If the music feels pleasant, "I like it". Since feeling is only label and interpretation of emotional reaction, MUSIC DOESN'T AFFECT FEELING. Music doesn't affect feelings just like we can't verbally ask a person "Could you get angry with me?" They will look at us like we are crazy. But, we can give them something to get angry about. That something is the stimuli that emotion reacts to. So, music affects emotion. The how part is another question. THat's what the excellent article that Imhe provided tried to answer.

Having said all that, we do have experience with music, listening or creating, for the sensation or feelings of the emotional reaction to it. There is an interaction between the sound and the cognitive-emotional reaction that triggers our reward system when we listen to a music we like. This is like smoking. It is not the nicotine that some people are addicted to. They are addicted to the pleasant sensation as the result of interaction between chemical in the nervous system and the chemical in the ciggarettes. They are addicted to the feelings they get. Our experience is music is similar in a way that what we like is the feelings we get as the result of interaction between our nervous system and the sound that we hear.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Forrest

A tree fall into a forrest, if there is no one to hear a sound, does it make a sound?

reality is logically inferred with or without perception
abstract imagination is inferrence
of unknown based on the known
we don't know either one of the sound with or without the hearing
mind is nothing but logical infference
and played like drama
and it s called world and life

what do I think about this? What does others think about this?

everything is good enough and why bother
nothing is important
it's all good
not my problem
observe to recover?
training for the mind?

I just realize my passive nature
my blindspot all my life
how I just take whatever come my way
and adjust myself to environment
change myself to please others
huge "self" to manipulate
and process and try to understand
with no defense and no participation
no interaction before processing
external locus of control
is helpless and accept things as they are
play victim stance
not fighting and try to please others
making self feels better by produce own pleasure
or avoid negative situation and manipulate others to be happy
afraid to make ripples or to take risks
just being passive and take whatever is given
not accepting self in order to accept others
sacrificing self for others
sacrificing self to be safe and to be loved