idol self

We are all slaves to our idol self
hypnotized by the ego to serve the master self
in trance believing the idol self
irrational in thinking and feeling
with ego as a boundary
anything inside is fantasy
filtering all incoming information
analyzing and judging
discriminating friends and foes
overprotecting self
using this fantasy to get rid of the fantasy
is like a subject try to fix itself
a subject can't fix itself
it has to objectify and fix an object
we, the subject, are serving an object, the idol self

Narcissistic

My mind always analyze
sensor all data coming in
confabulating an explaination
I am intoxicated, like in a trance
of a self and others
duality maintain a sense of self
a narcissistic trance, like alcohol induced intoxication
we get caught in this filter, consciousness
thus we have two emotion, reacting to senses and reacting to consciousness

Amnesia and dream is two different states
amnesia forgetting the self, in dream forgetting the environment
in amnesia senses is working, in dream senses is not working
in amnesia just the environment, in dream just the self
both are not reflexive
both can't say "myself"

there are two kinds of "bad guys", one is a perpetrator and another is called a hero
one cheats on game of life, another breaks from prison

psychopath don't enjoy pain, they enjoy others' pain
mystics endures his own pain

to think without thinking is the key
to smile in our heart
to wake up from the trance is to stop believing the trance
to see beyond the trance, like to wake up from dream
to get beyond the ego
to minimize the idol self
the egomaniac

suffering

suffing is when a person cheat in a social game. WHen most people plays by the rules in cooperation and social focused behavior and some people cheat with problematic behaviors or criminal behaviors. Or some people cheat with selfish behavior in relationship.
When some people must play by the rules and some people don't. Those who don't play by the rules will win. The bad boys always win. They win in the short term but not long term.

opportunity

things happen because of opportunity and ability
opportunity without ability is wasted
ability without opportunity is empty

Culture

The difficult things in living in relationship is others' psychological and cultural construct
what he thinks about himself and others in the background of the cultural environment.
culture is the background psychological environment that influence what a person believes.

another difficult thing is the psychological bubble
an emotional triggered psychological/narcissistic bubble
like acting up symptoms of autism
narcissistic bubble is created due to trauma or scar in personality
and when triggered create the bubble
like an autistic bubble and symptoms arise when a child experience fear
when he is outside his comfort zone
the scars are the underdeveloped system
because the world is nothing but emotion-mind
not stimulus response like in animal world

suffering is the narcissistic bubble
childish self centered lizzard self preservation ruled over mind social environmental centered
for human is trapped between animal and gods

trauma

Suffering is denial of trauma or secondary trauma.
Psychological/first trauma is defense mechanism.
secondary trauma is denial of the first trauma.
"can't believe it happens to me"
Denial of nature and human nature.
First trauma denial of external nature
secondary trauma is denial of internal nature.

Dream

I caught a glimpse of wake up moment beyond dream
beyond the world where our neighbor is after us
where people are evil
where I am evil
where the governments and companies tried to steal from us
where friends and lovers love and stab each others

the world of abstract nouns
where adjective, adverb, and verb become nouns
the world of gerunds, infinitive
where verb becomes adjective of participles

to the world of concrete nouns and verb
nouns become verb

new phenomena

like group/communal depression, there is a phenomena of communal antisocial
in a dysfunctional system where rules have no power
antisocial behaviors rise in numbers

have you ever met a person who seems to explain something that he even knows nothing about?
he is a comfabulator

supernatural explaination and common sense claims as scientific

Psychological world

Some people live in psychological prison
chained by its relationship or social group
some even live in psychological hell
tormented by psychological pain
confusing psychological and physical
believing it to be real

there are 2 kinds of cognition: automatic or conscioused
there are 3 kinds of cognition: perception, imagination , and intention
we intent ourselves and predict others
perception deals with present objects

we often deny the cause of our problem
it is easier to blame or to rationalize it
people come to counseling to problem solve but refuse to accept the cause of the problem.
like denying our behavior and follow our thoughts
like an angry person who believes in "I am not angry"
is he an angry person and is he being angry?
is he a person or is he being a person?
like simple present tense and other simple tenses
and there are other progressive experiences...

to be free is to be psychologically free
free from being hijacked by our beliefs and bodyly painful reaction
to be happy is to be psychologically happy
what we feel is different than how we feel
for we live in a psychological world
we are hypnotized and get trapped in our cocoon
until we break and is born into the natural universe
even though it is easier to live in our cocoon, but it is a man made prison
the universe is full of wonder, unable to be captured by a map.

Random thought 3/17/13

Without structure, I go back to what I am and what we all are?
nurture or nature?

system has front door and back door.

pelecehan non seksual or non sexual abuse occur in many variety.

Denial and accountability

the difference between animal and people is the accountability
human's behavior is not as simple as stimulus response
there is cognitive and emotional process behind the behavior
other than the behavior, we deny accountability

as a social being, accountability plays a special role
accountability is hidden and is easy to be denied

white board

COMMUNICATION FROM PAST EXPERIENCE AND CONSEQUENCE

PERCEPTION:
LANGUAGE
VISUAL (LANGUAGE)
AUDIO
FEELING/TOUCH, TASTE, SMELL (= VISUAL AND LANGUAGE)
VISUAL - LANGUAGE

IMAGINATION - LANGUAGE TO VISUAL
PERCEPTION BASED

AUTISM: (SENSE (+VISUAL) (-LANGUAGE)
SCIZO: LANGUAGE (+VISUAL) (-SENSE)
IMAGINATION BASED

AUTISM: SENSE PROBLEM, PERCEPTION PROBLEM, LANGUAGE PROBLEM

ILLNESS OR DISORDER TO BE MANAGED, NOT TREATED

FULL SUPERVISION
ASSISTIVE TECHNOLOGY

PRE-ATTACHMENT

AKWARDNESS - UNDERDEVELOPED

OVERDEELOPED INTENTIONAL ORIENTATION
UNDERDEVELOPED EXTENTIONAL ORIENTATION

OVERDEELOPED SELF-MIND ATTACHMENT
UNDERDEVELOPED SOCIAL MIND

LIVE INTROVERT, THINK EXTROVERT

INTUITION - ABSTRACT - OBJECTIVE - OPENMINDED
FEELING TO TURNED TO SELF

STAGES OF CHANGE:
LEVEL 1:
1. PRECONTEMPLATION
2. CONTEMPLATION
3. PLANNING
4. CHANGE

LEVEL 2 (MAINTAINANCE):
CULTURAL IDENTITY:

Stage Attitude toward Self Attitude toward Others of the Same Minority Attitude toward Others of Different Minority Attitude toward Dominant Group 1.
Conformity

Self-depreciating

Group-depreciating

Discriminatory

Group-appreciating

2.
Dissonance

Conflict between self-depreciating and appreciating

Conflict between group-depreciating and group-appreciating

Conflict between dominant-held views of minority hierarchy and feelings of shared experience

Conflict between group-appreciating and group-depreciating

3.
Resistance and Immersion

Self-appreciating

Group-appreciating

Conflict between feelings of empathy for other minority experiences and of culturocentrism.

Group-depreciating

4.
Introspection

Concern with the basis of self-appreciating

Concern with the nature of unequivocal appreciation

Concern with ethnocentric basis for judging others

Concern with the basis of group depreciation

5.
Synergetic Articulation & Awareness

Self-appreciating

Group-appreciating

Group-appreciating

Selective appreciation

noun

Making a noun from other part of speech make an abstract
gerunding the verb or to infinite it
noun the adjective or the adverb
or simply to phrase them
what is love but a verb that we noun
and any other feeling

the universe is just the way it is
with language, we make a story out of it...

love

there is no love without attraction
one only loves another whom she is attracted to
when sick, one tends to care for oneself
we love because of law of attraction
there is no such thing as attraction to oneself
only self care behavior when sick
courting behavior is one's way to attract
to give birth to love
like spring does to a tree
love transforms after mating
into love fo one's offspring
male works hard during courting and before mating
female works hard after mating on relationship
this is natural
how we do it is nurtural
the law of diversity that we don't step on the same river twice
each of things has its own different experience
that we categorize based on similarities
the higher we go, the less similarities
knowing the similarities bring cooperation and attraction
knowing the difference bring wisdom and competition
knowing both brings peace...

want and need

we may not always get what we want
but we should get what we need
in relationship, a person doesn't have right to always get what he wants
but he should always get what he needs
a troubled individuals must always get what he wants
in relationship, needs are must but wants are negotiable
For God said that He gives you what you need, not what you want

dont confuse emotions with luck
like confidence with one thing be confidence in all things
or shyness or anxiety as a bad thing
we all have our own sickness
emotional symptoms of psychological trauma of life
think about the emotion and behavior, not a person

victim to the self

we have become victims to the self
we overblow it and it's just about me and me
when me is happy, I am happy

reasons for everything

‎"Jangan Marah Pada Hal-Hal Kecil"
Saya mendapatkan tulisan ini dari rekan saya. Pernah saya baca, tetapi tidak ada bosan-bosannya untuk dibaca. Enjoy! Salam Antusias!

Setelah peristiwa 11 September 2001, sebuah perusahaan mengundang karyawan2 dari perusahaan2 yg selamat saat terjadi serangan ke WTC (World Trade Center) di Amerika.
Mereka diminta menceritakan pengalaman. Pada pertemuan itu, mereka menuturkan kisah bagaimana mereka bisa selamat. Dan semua kisah itu hanyalah mengenai ‘Hal-hal Kecil’.

Misalnya:
1. Kepala keamanan perusahaan bisa selamat pada hari itu karena mengantar anaknya masuk TK di hari pertama.
2. Seorang karyawan selamat karena hari itu adalah gilirannya membawa kue untuk murid di kelas anaknya.
3. Seorang wanita selamat karena tidak menemukan kunci mobilnya.
4. Seorang karyawan selamat karena terlambat akibat terjebak di NJ Turnpike saat terjadi kecelakaan lalu lintas.
5. Karyawan lain selamat karena ketinggalan bus.
6. Ada juga karyawan lain yang selamat karena menumpahkan makanan di bajunya, sehingga perlu waktu untuk berganti pakaian.
7. Seorang pria selamat karena mobilnya mogok.
8. Seorang pegawai tua selamat karena dia masuk lagi ke dalam rumah untuk menerima telepon yg berdering.
9. Seorang karyawan selamat karena mempunyai anak yang malas sehingga tidak bisa tepat waktu untuk berangkat bersama2.
10. Beberapa karyawan selamat karena tidak memperoleh taksi.
11. Sementara seorang manager selamat karena memakai sepatu baru yang membuat kakinya lecet dan terpaksa berhenti di toko obat untuk membeli plester. Itulah yang menyebabkan dia bisa tetap hidup sampai hari ini.

Karena itu, jika Anda terjebak di tengah kemacetan lalu lintas, ketinggalan taksi, harus masuk lagi ke rumah untuk menjawab telepon, anak-anak lambat berpakaian, tidak bisa menemukan kunci mobil, selalu terhadang lampu merah dan semuanya terlihat sangat kacau.
Maka jangan lekas marah atau frustrasi karena hal-hal kecil yang mengganggu itu.
Karena segala sesuatu mungkin ada alasannya!!

a person or things

what do we consider a person when we think about others?
more than a body, we make inference about his mind and emotional reaction and prediction about his behavior
consciousness predicts
we drive by looking ahead and relying on predicting on what we will go through
as if life is a forward motion
combination of these production makes a movie
like an art, it is prized based on novelty and beyond prediction
our emotion zoom in and solidify our prediction
makes it real
we imagine a person doing so and so
we predict an event

the problem is not the prediction
the problem is the overblown prediction
due to overblown emotion creating overblown mind thus creating stronger emotion
people is a person but not as we think
emotion create a SELF
we project our self onto others
we project the quality of our self onto others
when we are in bad mood, we live in hell
when we are in good mood, we live in heaven
my SELF is fine without others' SELF
others' SELF is fine without my SELF
SELF is useful for mind to navigate
people has their own self, but it's not ours to perceive

"HEALTHY CHILDREN THINK ABOUT OBJECTS, UNHEALTHY CHILDREN THINK ABOUT PEOPLE"

becoming human

we are learning to be a victim
and at the same time starting to victimize others
the cycle continues

human being is given consciousness to see and to believe
to leave the emotion behind
unfortunately, evolutionary emotions is still left behind
and dragging us down and creating so many problems
we even accept this problem
however, we are caught in a predicament of having wide vision of consciousness and at the same time has emotional reaction producing more variety of emotion, such as social emotion
we should use our mind to touch the emotional reaction if there is any
to disperse it like a prism breaks the sunlight
like a laser breaks a rock
sensation produce imagination
sensation is real, imagination is not
even all sentient is non sentient
all are things...

stigma of problem

emotional disability nature by temperament and nurtured by trauma
there are physical psychological and social factors in human dimension
in the background are the natural factors playing the roles
everybody has a dark side
everybody is selfish who altruism as obligation
the psychological and social factors sour an individual
getting caught in human drama

problem has a strong stigma and taboo
people are still denying a problem and psychological process
people still fear and resist psychology
psychological problem as a dark secret destroying name and face
like a family who enable and lie about abuse at home
like a parents who refuse to get help for their child's problem due to shame
psychological problem is still stigmatic and cause shame.

Life Responsivity Factors

There are two kinds of people: those who are ready to live and those who resist to live

the former is receptive to what life has to offer and the latter seems to fight it

it is life readiness factor or life resistant factor

this is part of how we respond to life or responsivity factors

some other responsivity factors are biopathological, psychopathological/intelligence or emotional.

however, this life readiness factor has nothing to do with biological or intelligence/emotional factors

it is more temperamental and purely sociopsychological

the other name for this psychological

the side effect of an experience

a child who is afraid to go to a dentist

a client who resist treatment

students who resist school

an ill person who react to the stigma

some are born with this difficult temperament

like having an emotional disability

however, some are learned and situational

such as joining a group with strong social stigma, such as being sick

responsivity factors are factors that block participation in an event

this can be identified and managed

this responsivity factors that is learned or psychological can be managed or hopefully unlearned

symptoms of this resistance is the denial of life and pursue of entertainment

a person is engaged in soothing behaviors more than they do in living

they avoid life as if life is a pain

and they try to escape from it

the cause of this phenomenon is spiritual

human dimension is cut off from the natural dimension

and suffering is the result

suffering is transferred from one generation to the next generation

bad behavior breeds bad behaviors

victims create other victims

unless we stop the cycle

by stopping our self from playing

Psychology of failure

Everyone has a dark side
the question is how dark is a person's dark side
failure is learned, just like hopelessness and helplessness is learned
nobody is born a loser but some learn to attract a loss
and their whole life will be spent in trying to avoid the loss

a person who has learned to lose or fail
is more sensitive to the failure
like a driver who focus on what to avoid rather than where he should turn
like a person who lives in the dark is more comfortable with the darkness
or a croach is more comfortable in a dirty place
or an abused is more comfortable in an abusive environment
it's not that they choose to lose, it is more that they can't escape it
their mind is still dealing with unfinished business
eventually they make it their home
like people who live in the street

they are more resistant to learn or to empathize with others
they have low readiness to live
they spend more time doing soothing behavior
to medicate their lack of calmness
they are like emotionally disabled
who requires special management to live

we are not learning to be a loser, we are learning to be A VICTIM

Seeing not watching

Seeing is enlightenment
watching is suffering
like hearing and speaking, seeing is our natural sense
watching, listening, and talking is consciousness
it requires imagination and emotional identification
it's image based on appearance
they freeze our natural body
our body see while our mind watch
they need subject and object
they are trauma/crisis based
watching is conscious
seeing is without seeing

universal

Who do you fight only for your people?
only for your religion?
only for your country?
only for your family?
Why don't you fight for all people?
all religion?
Can't you fight for the whole?
for everything is part of the universe
only the streetholes need patching
don't take side
those who suffer are the ones who need more love

Denial

Just before the curtain in my eyes open
I woke up in my dream
my hand of consciousness touch the dream world
with faith as my boat
I follow along the current of my breath
because faith and trust
is to let go
to let go not "if it's yours it will come back to you"
but to let go and follow the rotation of nature

relationship with oneself
like in any relationship
is only as strong as its trust
if faith is the ability to see
trust is to rely solely on something bigger than ourselves
to let go and let God
like a child jump into the pool
trust itself is love
where we surrender and yield ourselves to the beloved
love ourselves
give yourself up to the universe in you
because what you don't trust, you deny
the difference between a friend and a stranger is the trust we put
trust open up our heart
trust swim deep into the ocean
you can't swim if you still hold on

why dream in your wakefulness if you can wake up in your dream
learn to let go
listen to the music from your heart
feel the body dance
while the owner is still asleep

when we are in denial, we suffer
like we live in the wrong planet
where things are not what we think it is
and don't do like what we think it is supposed to
it play by different rules
who is the one what is trapped?
the undefined real self or the self made self?
the self made self pretend to rule over the real self
coup the real self
but it still live in the world of the real self
because the real self is the owner of the universe
the self made self lives in dellusional world
nothing ever changed, things are still the same
it believes that it changes the world
it thinks that the world is as it says
it always fall short and bump into things in the real world
like a driver who drives in delussional traffic will struggle in real traffic
or a lover in dellusional relationship with his imaginary beloved in his imaginary relationship
like a child with his imaginary friends and their world
is dream more real than wakefulness?

shut out the music of the world and listen to your own
close your eyes to attractions of the world and see your own
stop thinking about world affair and just think about your own affair
stop worrying about relationship with the world and see relationship with yourself
stop loving the world and hating your self
why "gain the world and lose oneself"
stop wanting from the world and see that you already have everything you need
from oneself...

when you are in denial and live in imaginary world
the real world looks like a nightmare to you
your imaginary world is a small light in the darkness
your fantasy is like an amusement park
it doesn't last forever
why live in prison if you can live for free?

Emotion is like a helmet
Only used when needed