mistakes

looking from the logic and standard social expectation
nature are full of mistakes and problems
looking from natural point of view
nature is perfect in every way

those who says donot know, those who knows do not say
the saying of the competent

karma

PRESENT ACTIVE KARMA IS RECORDED AND WILL BE PLAYED AS FUTURE PASSIVE KARMA
PRESENT PASSIVE KARMA IS PLAYED FROM RECORDED PAST ACTIVE KARMA

SO, PRESENT ACTIVE KARMA FACES PRESENT PASSIVE KARMA FROM THE PAST IN A CYCLE
PASSIVE KARMA: PAST COME TO THE PRESENT AND THE PRESENT WILL GO TO THE FUTURE
ACTIVE KARMA: THE FUTURE BECOME PRESENT AND PRESENT BECAME THE PAST

PRESENT PASSIVE KARMA IS PLAYING IN 1 MONITOR
BEING TRIGGERED BY ITS OWN INTERNAL KNOTS AND NEW EXTERNAL INFORMATION
AND WE ARE TRYING TO EDIT AND GET RECORDED AS ACTIVE KARMA

yang harus kita lepaskan adalah karma passif
pengalaman batin, reaksi badan dan pikiran yang timbul karna rasa bersalah dan kehendak
karma passif diciptakan oleh karma aktif yang dulu
karma aktif tergantung tingkat kesadaran dan karma passif
karma aktif bisa terbawa oleh karma passif
kita memadamkan karma passif dengan memadamkan karma aktif
dengan meninggikan tingkat kesadaran

karma passif seperti mobil otomatis yang jalan sendiri
karna kita supply bahan bakar
dan kita injak gas dan rem terus mencoba untuk menyetir
padahal kita harus put it on automatic pilot
dengan melepas gasnya

selain mobilnya ada juga pengendaranya
ini semua bagian dari karma passif
mobil ada karna ada pengendaranya
object ada karna subject
semua pengalaman karma passif/batin itu palsu
karna subject tidak bisa liat diri sendiri
objek diciptakan oleh guilt dan kehendak

lepas kaki dari gas
istirahatlah dalam keheningan dan kebebasan
lepaskan mencengkeram mereka untuk terlepas dari cengkeraman mereka
karna kita mengcenkeram diri kita sendiri
nikmatilah rasa sembuh
masa liburan dari tugas dunia
tempat hiburan dan permainan abadi

Guilt

the past is created by guilt, the future is created by kehendak
the former is the pain, the later is the coping
one is stress, the other is the medicine

dua duanya menciptakan pengalaman batin
akibat faktor pengalaman batin / pikiran yang tidak tepat
karna pikiran adalah penglihatan
menciptakan reaksi emosi yang tidak tepat

ada dua level reaksi dimana badan kita berreaksi terhadap pikiran kita
dan saya sekarang berreaksi terhadap reaksi emosi itu
sebenernya dua step reaksi dimana step pertama adalah reaksi kebiasaan /habit
reaksi kedua dimana saya reaksi terhadap reaksi pertama tadi
reaksi pertama adalah karma passif, reaksi kedua adalah karma aktif

pikiran dan reaksi pertama adalah karma passif
pengalaman batin adalah karma passif
kesadaran kita sekarang adalah karma aktif
karma passif is beyond our control
karma aktif bisa kita ubah kalo penyadaran berubah
karma adalah reaksi otomatis

kita harus belajar untuk lepas gas seperti mobil otomatis

Physical dimension

When they talk about understanding the world, the nature of things
they are talking about the physical dimension, physical chemical and biological dimension
our mental dimension or experience is to observe this physical dimension and to understand
instead of reacting to this physical dimension

The escape

It is the nature of universe to change, to be born and to die
it is the nature of the body to feel pain, decay, and die
to avoid the pain, human create an escape
to a psychological reality with its own body, the self
it create its own world, its own amusement park
it creates its own pleasure
however, it can't never escape the nature
for all the pleasure it receive, it has to pay with suffering

it creates its own fantasy world and we get trapped in it
human lives in this semantic drama filled world
no one question the validity of this world
of immortality and permanent pleasure

we do all these to avoid the pain of the body and nature
by buying the pleasure that people sell
the temporary and fake pleasure
we got brainwashed and hypnotized
of the promise of fake happiness
to buy the drugs and get addicted
our feelings get manipulated and our mind intoxicated
of promise of love and happiness and freedom
that we forget that we already are
but what we end up doing is to create more pain and suffering

life is a memory

oh, how what I call life is a story
what I call memory is a story i told myself
How I remember an event that happened when I was 12 years old
so vividly like yesterday
when I joked about someone's appearance and was confronted by her
it is imprinted and impressed deeply in my mind
it may not be what happened
she may not remember it any more
what matters is that I still believe it

I believe something because I choose to or because I have never question it
I confabulate and tell myself something
Others tell me something
that imply TRUTH (simple present tense)
I believe what is true
the question is that is it really true?
how mind convert encode and decode language into image
between language and mentalese...

He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest us. - Einstein

fever

fever demam
meditation bug
must like the meditation first
sick with a bug

drive

life is chaotic, like the rush hour traffic
then, we should do nothing?
no, learn to drive....

intoxicated

my mind is like on meth
can't stop moving
shutting down the body

meditation will wake the body and sleep the mind...

Naration

what we sense is what we think we sense
a commentary of what we sense
a running narration of what we sense and imagine
body is asleep when mind is awake
body is awake when mind is asleep
life is what we tell ourselves
the world is what we tell ourselves
imagination is stronger than the senses
the top down knowledge
in regular wakeful moment, our body and mind are half awake half sleep
in sleep, our body is asleep and our mind awake
in meditation, our mind is asleep and our body awake.

alone and relationship

ego is our sense of relationship
our relationship manager
when alone we don't need ego
relationship with people or things

it is good to be independent
to be with oneself

ego was useful in childhood when we develop our social skills

puncak

right thought bukanlah pikiran yang benar, tapi pikiran yang tepat
right behavior adalah perbuatan yang tepat
bukan berdasarkan moralitas, tapi menuruti sifat alam

ikan tidak bisa kehujanan

being with oneself to be happy rather than in relationship
sifatnya relationship itu suffering
karna semuanya keluar dari dalam
lingkungan yang tepat untuk sukacita untuk tumbuh
karna belum kuat, pikiran masih terbawa kalau di publik
kuatkanlah sense of self as the source of joy
then you can get drunk in public
always with oneself in public
always feel the sense of self in public
the thought of public is the absense of sense of self
when we are not tied to sense of self
our mind got thrown around by the tornado of public thoughts
only sense of self and joy remain
only see the self and lose the public even when in public

stress karna main pake duit dan tidak pakai duit

kompulsive, play with your life and self as bets

consents and investments as bets

only feel the self
don't think about others
bring back thought that runs away from the sense of self to the sense of self
feel the sensation
let it blossom
feel the vibration
release of energy
go into the cloud

focus all energy on the sensation
drop yourself into it totally
abadon everything else and totally yield into the sensation
abandon all thought ye who enter here
get into the trance
happiness or suffering is a trance
trance yang tepat

sifat menentukan sikap

feel the orgasm of your senses
the explosion and release of energy
extrasensory and perception

if suffering is craving or sakaow (the release of negative energy)
samadhi is nge fly or intoxication after the release of energy (pleasure)
meditation is samadhy without craving
intoxication without craving

we give consent and investment to something we have no control over
like when we can't attend a meeting
we give our vote to something before we know it or that we don't know

keakuan adalah hal yang penting. dimana ada yang penting disitu ada aku. like a 911 for emergency.

thoughts

life is a thought
the world is a thought
what we think we see is what we told ourselves
it is a naration told by self
it is a dream
and we believe it so much
we create our experience
we create what we see, what we hear, what we feel, touch, smell, and taste
the object of senses are what we think we sense
life and world is what we think they are

factors such as thoughts, emotion, senses are like a freight train cars pulling each other
but if a train has a locomotive, we don't
everything (physical, chemical, biological) and experience (emotional, mental, social, spiritual) appear from interaction and reaction of factors that always move like fishes in the pond
for human, experience plays bigger roles
enlightenment and suffering is a psychological experience
how we experience nature
nature lives and dies on itself
it's their character (sifat)
depends on natural factors
we are happy and suffer on itself
depends on psychological factors

no one consciously commit good or bad behavior
like our body move unconsciously/automatically
our experience move unconsciously without our awareness
we only have the ability to observe or awareness
to be free

intoxication

life is a trance from craving
because we are intoxicated with the false illusion
the egoic intoxication
based on the importance of me and my world
that everything is emergency

suffering is a bell to practice, a teacher nd a reminder/alarm of nature agenda. not ego agenda.

suffering is the friction between ego and nature. when ego is too small, it is too idealist. the stronger the ego, the smaller the comfort zone.

samadhi is a trance from intoxication
an orgasmic explosion of sensory experience
an extrasensoric perception

if suffering is craving/sakauw, samadhi is nge fly/intoxication
meditation is intoxication without crving
therapy with no side effects.

make life into trance from intoxication from life itself
get intoxicated with life...

dream

closing my eyes, I still can see it
the world that I thought exist and I thought was outside
it must be inside. How can it be inside?
it must be only my thought
dream is one of the senses
ignorant senses are liars
like thinking that colors belong to the object
confabulation we teach ourselves
external senses and perception, internal senses, imagination, and confabulation

a dreamer's external senses and perception are asleep
his internal senses and imagination comes alive
his body is asleep but his psyche is awake

when he is awake, his body is awake but his psyche is asleep and is dreaming
his psyche is surpressed

an amnesiac lost parts of his story

so called life is a dream of the sleeping psyche
it is pushed to the background by the incoming information from the external senses and perception
everything is inside, it is all our thoughts, it is all a dream
a nightmare coming out from the deep
the emotional and cognitive dream, the background
to the senses and perception, the foreground
they all are sensation, vibration of unstilled mind

meditate with closed eyes
with the right thought, there is a right condition
what is created by thoughts can be stopped
and the world stop
when the world stop, the self dissapear

Suka cita

Meditasi adalah olah jiwa
Sukacita yang sejati hanya dari kebebasan
Sukacita yang tidak berhutang
Yang berhutang dari relationship to people and things

We are not free because we participate in senses experience
Kita tidak bebas karna kita berpartisipai dan dalam pengalaman indera
dan bereaksi terhadap pengalaman indera (5 indera luar + 1 pikiran + 1 internal touch/perasaan)

Sakit tubuh adalah takdir
sakit batin bukan takdir dan bisa disembuhkan dan tidak mati

Sukacita adalah reaksi terhadap kebebasan
Batin yang tenang dan tidak diganggu (bebas)
Sifat aslinya adalah sukacita
Batin yang diganggu oleh indera tidak tenang

we can experience little joy
exercise to develop it muscle
preventive
develop immune system

Kebebasan adalah sebab sukacita
yang mengikat itu kenikmatan
kenikmatan dengan buah baik dan jelek
nibana adalah kenikmatan dengan buah baik.

joy

Bebaskan dari cengkeraman ke aku an dengan senyuman
Dalam suka cita, tidak ada sakit atau duka
duka dan sakit adalah penunjuk jalan menuju harta karun
siram semua dengan suka cita
sinarilah duka dengan suka cita
Biarlah disengat oleh suka cita dan bermabuklah
pandang sifat dunia dan orang dari jauh
pandang sifat badan dan batin dari jauh
duduklah dengan tenang dikelilingi suka cita
tinggalah dalam ruang suka cita dan pandang dunia dari jauh
jauhi suka cita dari luar (dunia dan orang) dan dari dalam (badan dan batin)

jauhi semua suka cita yang dibuat
lihat penyebab suka cita, reaksi terhadap kebebasan

semuanya mudah dalam suka cita
berhentilah menjadi budak aku dan istirahatlah
berhentilah berlari maka semua akan berhenti
ikutilah duka dan sakit yg ditunjukkan si aku sebagai tanda jalan
biarkan suka cita ini membangun stamina dan momentum sendiri
biarkan semua berjalan sendiri....

ME

"it's not you, it's me"
no, it's not you and it's not me
too overconfident that things happen because of me (Gede Rasa)
that it's all about me
the world revolves because of me
that I matter
fear of dissapearing
promoting and parading it
as our most prized possession
as the most prized possession in the world
engaging in never ending competition
public relations and damage control
fear of being violated
thinking that the world is beautiful because of me
and I can destroy the world too

this I takes over as we awake
overpossessing our body and mind
the old habit of thinking
we create stories and confabulations
with it in the center

it can be a source of pleasure from outside
when I do "well", have good things and appearance
it can also be a source of guilt shame embarrassment
fear that it doesn't fit well
this I crave approval and praise from other people
it wants to be the best
competition of who has the best I

this I always live in a state of oppression and anxiety
chained by need of approval and being liked
engaged in insane self impression management
creating positive and hiding the dark one
the two masks of the real thing

well, the world revolves regardless of the I
people move about and do what they do regardless of the I
my body and mind do what they do without the I
they even do better without the I

Escape from the hostage of the I
to the freedom of cause and effect
drink the joy of just living
factors stop moving when our mind stop moving
they dissapear as we dissapear
and the world is as the world was
before we appear...

Meditation

Meditation is like cleaning eye glasses
we clean our glasses from time to time from dirts
after wiping them we check the vision by focusing on an object

clean vision is a given
happiness is a given when we clear the way
the path of meditation is wide open if we clear the path
why settle for drug or relationship related happiness that is temporary and infested with suffering
when we can get a free one

The world

The world sucks.
Even our emotion try to tell us that the world sucks
but we refuse to hear it
like a child dreaming about going to amusement park and is not hearing that he can't go
the child is in denial
things deteriorate, people get old sick and die,
if we understand true nature, everything sucks
our thoughts, emotions, body, self, social system
we still live in fairy tale and dreaming of utopia
that people love each others and earth is a beautiful place to live
we love health and hate sickness
we love beauty and hate uglyness
we love love and hate hatred
we love cooperation and hate competition
going after what we love and running away from what we hate
we always live in fear

Ego Resistance

Ego resistance is like clinical resistance
where we deny or justify to delay or deny dealing with an experience
it is a sickness of an ego, an ego is sick at ease
ego is useful in completing human tasks
not so much dealing with crisis or at ease
it's like an instrument we use
it's a concentrated ideal of our self
more focused yet abstract
still scattered due to dualistic division

in an environment lacking ego cencorship, like in dream
ego encounter reality/trancendent environment
it is too terrifying to awake senses that it comes out in dream
however, in an environment lacking self, like in amnesiac
it is impossible to do human tasks

in awake moment, we experience both ego and transcendent experiences
an introverted view experience intense shame, fear, anger or the struggle of resistance
it is war between the ego and the bigger reality, the child and the parents
or it is an invitation to grow up
to let God comes into your life
the crack is not for us to slip into heaven
the crack is that heaven slip into our shell
it is not breaking the shell from inside
it is cracking the shell from outside
we just need to open and stop closing and guarding the entrance

there is internal and external reality that can hit us from both ego boundaries
psychological reality and social reality
intra and interpersonal reality

Colission

Collision between two worlds, the trance and the real world
explode and hit each other like getting slapped by a brick
when we prefer the ideal world, we hate the real world
if you have the real world, that is enough
if you try to chase the ideal world, nothing will ever satisfy

when being intoxicated by alcohol, we lose inhibition to the real world
but getting stuck in between, our intoxication is not strong enough
intoxication of any kind is not healthy
waking up and being sober is more important...