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shame based is external, guilt based is internal motivation
prison, correctional system

teleology and Teleology

Suffering

Suffering is indeed the test of nature
where a person's strength is not in the offense but on the defense
how strong he can take a hit and how he can bear the pain
how he can tame his emotion by his physical and mental stamina
everybody can offend and hit, but not many can take a hit

the development of self began long time ago with a split
prior, we have a direct relationship with environment
we are at the mercy of our environment and try to adapt to the environment
then, we learn to leave the relationship with the environment
by developing cognition
by supposing/simulating/learning/practicing our skills before meeting the real environment
our behavior becomes delayed reaction and planned
we develop the "Self Me"
the relationship with the "SM" is the self psychology
the loop between feeling and thoughts due to attachment to this Self
It is our defense mechanism for our social environment
This strategy gives PRESENT advantage over PAST problems (living in the wild)
however, we are still in transition to deal with present problems
living in civilized and safe society, we becomes bored and overemote
humanity gives us the skills to deal with the worst, not the average
we create own drama and stimulation out of boredom

Self is our overmeet needs/over adaptive skills
that enables us to leave the relationship with environment
narcissism is oversocial needs
even suffering is overexpectation for needs due to attachment
we grab the "self" as if we are grabbing the body when we are stress
we are living in imaginary world/simulation word where self represents body and mind is the environment
introvert regulate self to regulate environment
extrovert regulate environment to regulate self

we leave the relationship with nature by developing competence or skills
compare yourself driving with and without skills
where competence is the ability to regulate self and environment
the first step is regulating the car then the road.

Feeling and cognition has the opposite relationship with the senses and perception
when one is on, the other is off
the senses and perception is our relationship with nature
feeling and cognition is our overadaptive skills that leaves the relationship with nature...

mengejar uang

jangan mengejar uang, do something where money chase you

Menjaga perasaan orang

Ada orang yang menjaga perasaan sendiri dari terluka/please oneself
ada orang yang menjaga perasaan orang lain dari terluka/please others
orang yang please oneself can sacrifice others
orang yang please others can sacrifice self
to regulate self emotion by controlling others emotions
where orang yg please oneself can control others behavior to regulate self

regulating others' feeling and thinking rather than action and body
like we regulate our own feeling and thinking rather than action and body

Positive negative attraction

In a group, positive environment will attract negatives
and negative environment will attract positives
Is this what happens in our mind?
In a positive mind environment, a person is conscious of his problems
where in negative mind environment, a person is only conscious of his ideal pretend self

The Illusion of Individuality

I favor individuality over group

I am in the rebellion stage

for this is not the end, just the mean

for individuality is an illusion

where human overdevelop to master the universe

the tower of Bable to reach God

it is not just the environment, we are talking about social environment

we are talking about intra species conflict and competition

we have been shielded from nature

this is also the problem of left over energy of emotion

"I am more important than the group" is the question.
is this one of the phases?
the oversubtance self me.

on one hand, there is a one that perceive (self me) and the perceive oned (other than me)
there is also individual and group
when we are born, it start with group (dominant culture), than individuation process
rebellion agains the culture "me preference" is more important than "the group preference"

the problem is the self me that perceives
to be free from the others than me

IF YOU HAVEN'T HAD A CONFLICT OR NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE WITH A PERSON, YOU DON'T KNOW A PERSON.

Cultural Self

Cultural self is our make up, the dress that we wear as told by our culture
the social desirable as culture dependent
behind every cultural self, the group self, hide the individual self
for nature always favor the group than individual
the individual is sacrificed, repressed, and belittled
the liberation of the individual is the freedom,
the happiness

recovery process involved releasing the self imprisoned by the culture
the individuation process and the cultural identity process work hand in hand
without attacking the culture and sacrificing the self
to live in peace for both of them
suffering is our anger and frustration of our incarceration
we want to be free but we don't know how
the process involve minimizing the culture and maximizing the individual
we are repressed behind social self with our desire to be liked
the attachment for belongingness keep others more important than what they really are
they are not important
they may not like to hear it but it's true
fear of dissapointing others, anxiety to please
to win a social trophy
I sacrifice trophy from self in order to chase trophy from others
desire for esteem by others
so codependent...

sociocultural self is the chameleon self
but, unlike chameleon who only change when self defense
we forget that about the chameleon
we suffer when we change
this extend to who we marry, what we think and what we should feel
there is a dynamic conflict between the individual and sociocultural self
we experience anger when we experience parts of individual and sociocultural
it's rebellion
this is a process of adapting to environment

one hand clap

you know the sound of two hands clap, what is the sound of one hand clap?
there is only two hands clap when there is "on the other hand"